Christmas Changes

Christmas has always been a BIG deal at our house. Everyone received many, many gifts, both big and small. This year, however, I decided to take a step back from the over consumption and get some perspective. I told my two kids we would buy them one, big, hopefully, practical thing and that was it. I asked most of my friends not to exchange gifts this year. My husband and I are not buying each other anything. We want a new, really good mattress and that's what we are doing instead.
It has a little to do with the money, but more to do with the realization that we have too much, or, at the very least, we have enough. We don't need any more things to dust. I want to spend time with the people I care about more than spend money on them. I want to go out to a nice dinner and laugh and talk and make more memories. I want to go on vacations and see and do things together that, again, will create memories.
Toys get lost or broken and clothes are outgrown. What once seemed so important to have, loses its lustre far too fast. I will not be on this earth forever. I hope and pray they measure my love for them, not in presents given, but in time spent and memories made. Now that sounds like a good Christmas!

Whirled Peas

At this time of year, there are plenty of words written about what the world needs and what we should REALLY want for Christmas. I know I should be an informed adult and want the economy to get better, understand the importance of Wikileaks and how it affects national security, wish for wars to end...you know, whirled peas...I mean, world peace!
Here's the thing. My world is a lot smaller and simpler than those problems. I do long for there to be peace and happiness throughout the world, but, for me, I long for it more in my own house. Selfish as this may sound, I think it is an honest feeling and one most people can relate to more than world problems. I want my husband to be healthy so he can continue to be here and take care of all of us as only he can. I want my two children to be happy adults and embrace life, both the good and the bad, with kindness in their hearts. I want my grand children to enjoy being kids and laugh and play and experience all of life never doubting how much they are loved. I want them to end up being happy and productive citizens of this world.
On a smaller level, I want gas prices to stop climbing every week. Nobody's talking about it, they are just sneakily raising the price. I want all my bills paid with a little left over to do fun things and make memories. I want to stay healthy enough to keep running as long as I am crazy enough to want to keep running. I want to keep learning. I want to remember where I laid my keys, why I walked in this room, and my own name!
And, yes, I want whirled peas too. We had zucchini last night!

Abigail

Abigail is a very unique child. Now, I know all parents and grand parents feel this way about their kids, but she truly is her own person and not even three!
She is queen of the dirty looks. When you give her an answer she doesn't like, she has perfected this growl that is somewhere between a grizzly bear and an alien. She stands her ground on the smallest of issues and won't budge an inch. When told that simply saying you're sorry to your brother for hitting him will release you from the Time Out bench, she would rather sit there longer than give in to the request. She eventually does it, just in her time and not yours. I was relating all this to a friend last night and they listened, then looked at me and said, "Sounds just like her grammie!"
Clearly, this darling child will go far in the world!

Lessons for Me

I received a text from a dear friend yesterday afternoon. It said ~ "Dinner & a movie tonight?" Now this may seen no big deal to most of you, but for me, I was confronted with a couple of things. One ~ I am a planner. While I would like to think I am spontaneous, I guess I am not really at all. I like to have things on my calendar and know what's coming up, this week, next week, etc. This was so sudden! I mean, you really don't plan it, you just decide that day to go?! What a crazy notion! When I told my husband, his response was that it sounded like fun and why wouldn't I go? What about dinner, I asked. Isn't there plenty of stuff in the frig? Yes, this was true. No one would starve if I took off for this madcap, unplanned adventure! So, I texted back and said yes, what time and where to meet? Her reply was the restaurant, the movie and that she'd pick me up. Herein lies my second lesson for the day. I ALWAYS make the plans for most things, with family and with friends. I suggest the restaurant, I check the movie times, etc. I didn't have to make any decisions!!! It felt kind of funny, but in a good way. All I had to do was be ready and go! While I know that I will continue to plan and prepare and suggest adventures in the future, this felt really good for a change. I was along for the ride. I got to look out the window instead of reading the map!

How's Your Day?

While at Joann's Store today, I asked the clerk, "How are you?". She stopped ringing up my purchase, stared at me and said, "I can't remember the last time a customer asked me that question! Thanks for asking." I was somewhat surprised by her reaction, but I really shouldn't be. Courtesy and interacting with people face-to-face are becoming things of the past. I watch
people in at the grocery store talk on their cell phones the entire time the clerk rings up their purchases. Never once do they speak to them and off they go, some still chatting on the phone. My simple question seemed to make the lady's day. She got a smile on her face and wished me Happy Holidays. Maybe her good mood continued for a few more customers after me. I wonder if the other customers even noticed? A little kindness can go a long way. We can make a difference in this bleak world, one "How's your day?" at a time. Of course, you have to be willing to listen to the reply.

The Tree

Each year, the tree is one of the last decorating tasks I do. By then, I have been decorating the house for a couple of days and I am getting tired. Starting the tree always feels daunting and yet, once I begin taking out each ornament, I get excited all over again. They may seem like dozens of ornaments to someone else, but to me they are dozens of memories. Each reminds me of a trip we took, a place we visited, a friend who gave it to me or my child that made it for me. They are a hodge podge of styles and yet they all blend perfectly on the tree to represent who we are and what matters to our family. I marvel at people who have "department store" perfect trees where everything matches. They are lovely to look at and yet, they have no place in my house. We are a rag tag bunch of people, sometimes classy and sometimes messy. Things break in our lives and we glue them back together as best we can. Sometimes the break is so bad, there is no hiding the attempt at fixing it. We still keep it, though. We have hope ~ for ourselves and each other.

Hot/Cold

My crazy sense of humor loves this silly cartoon. Hopefully, you can read the title of the book, which is "How to Turn Up the Heat in Your Marriage". It was two snowmen, but the result of their efforts must of worked, because they are no longer!
I have been married a long time ~ 35 years to be exact and this is not a blog about sex. It is a blog about long term relationships and how they run hot and cold. You can't live with someone for many decades without differences of opinions, disagreements and downright arguments. People who say they never fight with their spouse make me nervous. I wonder what else they lie about!
It is amazing to me that one day, I can look across the dining room table at my husband and be filled with so much love for him, while another day, I look across the same table at the same man and wonder how I do not strangle him. He, of course, says he is always the same and it is me who changes from one day tot he next. If I didn't know better, I might think that were a veiled comment pointing the finger at female hormones! One friend I have actually stated it like this: "In the course of any given month, one week I absolutely adore and love my husband, another week he is still a good guy, the third week he irritates me constantly, and the fourth week, I could kill him." I think she is speaking, once again, about the cycle of women. Does this make us sound like complete slaves to our hormones? I would like to think we are smarter and more in control than that, but maybe not.
Over the course of time, relationships get out of balance and sometimes, even, get lost. People often throw in the towel at these times and declare it unfixable ~ irreconcilable differences say the divorce papers. It suddenly seems easier to start over rather than fix what you already have. For me, even on the worst of days, I can still, faintly recall the good days and can't help but wonder if there might still be a few more. Besides, I'm no quitter and I'm not done torturing him yet!