Sunshine in the Mail

What does your mail consist of these days? If it’s like mine, it consists mostly of advertisements (ugh) and bills (double ugh). Nothing very exciting or uplifting, to say the least. I decided I can’t change my own mail, but I can change other people’s. Now, whenever I see an article in the newspaper or a magazine that reminds me of someone, I tear it out, slap a little note on it that reads, “Saw this and thought of you.” and pop both in the mail to them. The key is, I do it right away!   Leaving it to do later usually means never! Just think, when they open their mail box, there among the bleak adult “stuff” is a tiny ray of sunshine. They open it to find nothing very important and, yet, may make them feel they are important enough for someone to take the time to send them this. What an easy, inexpensive way to make someone’s day! I know you might say, email is more immediate, but for me, not as satisfying. 

Often, we feel we can’t do anything big or great so we do nothing, but doing something, however small, may have big returns for the recipient as well as for us. You never know what seeds you plant, what the ripple effect of kindness can change, how we touch a heart that needed it more than we could know.

For the price of a stamp, will you send someone a little sunshine?

Who's On Your Crew?

When your life is smooth sailing, anybody can ride along in your boat. It’s easy, fun and lighthearted. Unfortunately, much of life cannot be described in these terms. More often than not, we face challenges, worries and troubles that eat away at our attempt at choosing joy. Instead of smooth sailing, we experience turbulent waters that sometimes make us feel like our boat is about to capsize. Who hangs with us during these times? I bet you can count these people on one hand, but count them you should, because they are the ones that truly matter. I can steer the boat by myself when the waters are calm. It’s when the storm threatens my safety that I need a crew to help me navigate through it. That’s the time those people I counted, really count!

Who’s on your crew?

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a funny thing. We often find ourselves in a situation where we just don’t want to forgive someone for hurting or disappointing us. We reason that they don’t deserve our forgiveness. They were wrong. They were mean. However, anger and resentment are heavy stones to carry around each and every day. Forgiveness lightens that weight almost instantly.

One of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. We put lots of pressure on being better, smarter, kinder, skinnier and so on, and when we fall short, we often cannot forgive ourselves. I was talking with a woman last week and she told me, like many people, she started the New Year with great intentions. She had been exercising and eating healthy foods, but in the last few days, she, in her words, had “fallen off the wagon”. I looked right at her and said, “Forgive yourself and move on. Start again and keep going.” The look on her face can only be described as hopeful joy. She thanked me for saying those words and said that was just what she would do. Rather than dwelling on the failure of the past few days, she would forgive herself and move forward.

I must say these words, not only to others, but to myself as well.

Will you forgive yourself and move forward today?

Invisible

I realized something a little startling the other day. Sixty plus year old women are invisible. I am invisible. To whom you may ask? To everyone is my reply. I am invisible to the people shopping in the grocery store. I am invisible to the people in line at the bank. I am invisible to the few friends that I have. I am invisible to my children. I am invisible to my husband. No one sees an older woman.  It’s not in the fabric of our society today. I go about my business with the efficiency I have always had. I get things done. I make a list. I shop for food. I cook meals. I do laundry. I pay the bills on time. I grab a coffee. I keep it all running smoothly, all the while being invisible. It’s just what happens, I guess. I still think of myself as a witty, fun 30 year old. Then I pass a mirror or see my reflection in a window and am startled that an older woman is staring back at me. I hardly know her. She dresses mostly in black these days, probably to hide her diminishing figure and her thickening middle. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? I see a woman who seems to add wrinkles to her face on a daily basis. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? I see a woman who has more time on her hands and less to do. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? I see that look of polite indifference on people’s faces when I start to tell a story or offer advice. When did that happen?  Is that when I became invisible? I am at the point in my life where I am buying more sympathy cards than birthday cards. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? It’s like I am a drawing on a piece of paper and someone has started using the eraser at the bottom of my picture moving upward, and slowly but surely, I have been disappearing for some time. The eraser will finally reach my head and then my thoughts, dreams and memories will be erased along with me. Maybe that is actually a good thing. Then I won’t remember that I am invisible.

Biggsuzi