Kind Words

Some may not know this, but I work part time in a coffee shop ~ THE coffee shop known around the world! Lousy pay but excellent benefits and I get to interact with so many people and often their stories are laid before me in our short time together. One day, a mother and daughter came in and I noticed that the daughter, probably high school age, had on a head scarf and was clearly bald underneath. I assumed “chemo bald”.  As I took their order, the young girl slowly removed her scarf, all the while staring right at me. I continued to take their order, not missing a beat, but as they walked away, I looked at the girl and said, “By the way, you look beautiful. Your head has a perfect shape.” She smiled sheepishly and giggled a little. Her mother said, “I have told her the same thing since she was born, she has always had a perfectly shaped head.” They went off to wait for their order to be called and I continued with my line of customers. A few minutes later, I looked up to see the mother staring at me and when our eyes met, she silently mouthed, “Thank you!” I smiled and nodded ever so slightly. No need to thank me. I felt blessed to have this small interaction with them. Both of them remained on my mind the rest of the day. I was struck with the simple fact that a kind word to someone, even a stranger, can make their entire day better. It cost me nothing, but the return is priceless – for both of us!

What kind word will you offer someone today?

Just $5!

I have been known to offer my opinion or ideas on a variety of subjects. Sometimes these opinions are not solicited, but many times they are. I am older, been around the block as they say, and know a little bit about a lot of things. I have had many jobs in my lifetime. I have been many places. I have a creative side that likes to make things. Although I can’t draw or paint, I’m a force with a glue gun! I love telling others about great restaurants, places and events that are memorable for a number of reasons. I love to hunt for a bargain. I like to take the time to share the good parts with people. I strike up conversations with strangers in line, much to my best friend’s annoyance!  I have been known to even offer these strangers suggestions as well. I have often said, jokingly, that I would like to be the “$5 Answer Woman”.  Here’s how it would work. You come to me and ask me a question, ask for a recommendation, ask for my ideas. I will give you an answer, an idea, or my suggestion and you pay me $5! Doesn’t that sound amazing? With today’s prices, I am probably selling myself short at five dollars, but I want satisfied customers! I want returning customers that come back for more answers! Much like ladies of a certain profession, payment must be received before services are rendered! I will accept cash, check or Venmo! Maybe it's a little like Google or Siri, but how often do you ask them something and are not happy with their answer? This way, you get a real, live person! I can see it now, at your service, the famous $5 Answer Woman!! How can I abbreviate that on a personalized license plate!?!?

Got five bucks? What’s your question??

Sunshine in the Mail

What does your mail consist of these days? If it’s like mine, it consists mostly of advertisements (ugh) and bills (double ugh). Nothing very exciting or uplifting, to say the least. I decided I can’t change my own mail, but I can change other people’s. Now, whenever I see an article in the newspaper or a magazine that reminds me of someone, I tear it out, slap a little note on it that reads, “Saw this and thought of you.” and pop both in the mail to them. The key is, I do it right away!   Leaving it to do later usually means never! Just think, when they open their mail box, there among the bleak adult “stuff” is a tiny ray of sunshine. They open it to find nothing very important and, yet, may make them feel they are important enough for someone to take the time to send them this. What an easy, inexpensive way to make someone’s day! I know you might say, email is more immediate, but for me, not as satisfying. 

Often, we feel we can’t do anything big or great so we do nothing, but doing something, however small, may have big returns for the recipient as well as for us. You never know what seeds you plant, what the ripple effect of kindness can change, how we touch a heart that needed it more than we could know.

For the price of a stamp, will you send someone a little sunshine?

Who's On Your Crew?

When your life is smooth sailing, anybody can ride along in your boat. It’s easy, fun and lighthearted. Unfortunately, much of life cannot be described in these terms. More often than not, we face challenges, worries and troubles that eat away at our attempt at choosing joy. Instead of smooth sailing, we experience turbulent waters that sometimes make us feel like our boat is about to capsize. Who hangs with us during these times? I bet you can count these people on one hand, but count them you should, because they are the ones that truly matter. I can steer the boat by myself when the waters are calm. It’s when the storm threatens my safety that I need a crew to help me navigate through it. That’s the time those people I counted, really count!

Who’s on your crew?

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a funny thing. We often find ourselves in a situation where we just don’t want to forgive someone for hurting or disappointing us. We reason that they don’t deserve our forgiveness. They were wrong. They were mean. However, anger and resentment are heavy stones to carry around each and every day. Forgiveness lightens that weight almost instantly.

One of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. We put lots of pressure on being better, smarter, kinder, skinnier and so on, and when we fall short, we often cannot forgive ourselves. I was talking with a woman last week and she told me, like many people, she started the New Year with great intentions. She had been exercising and eating healthy foods, but in the last few days, she, in her words, had “fallen off the wagon”. I looked right at her and said, “Forgive yourself and move on. Start again and keep going.” The look on her face can only be described as hopeful joy. She thanked me for saying those words and said that was just what she would do. Rather than dwelling on the failure of the past few days, she would forgive herself and move forward.

I must say these words, not only to others, but to myself as well.

Will you forgive yourself and move forward today?

Invisible

I realized something a little startling the other day. Sixty plus year old women are invisible. I am invisible. To whom you may ask? To everyone is my reply. I am invisible to the people shopping in the grocery store. I am invisible to the people in line at the bank. I am invisible to the few friends that I have. I am invisible to my children. I am invisible to my husband. No one sees an older woman.  It’s not in the fabric of our society today. I go about my business with the efficiency I have always had. I get things done. I make a list. I shop for food. I cook meals. I do laundry. I pay the bills on time. I grab a coffee. I keep it all running smoothly, all the while being invisible. It’s just what happens, I guess. I still think of myself as a witty, fun 30 year old. Then I pass a mirror or see my reflection in a window and am startled that an older woman is staring back at me. I hardly know her. She dresses mostly in black these days, probably to hide her diminishing figure and her thickening middle. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? I see a woman who seems to add wrinkles to her face on a daily basis. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? I see a woman who has more time on her hands and less to do. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? I see that look of polite indifference on people’s faces when I start to tell a story or offer advice. When did that happen?  Is that when I became invisible? I am at the point in my life where I am buying more sympathy cards than birthday cards. When did that happen? Is that when I became invisible? It’s like I am a drawing on a piece of paper and someone has started using the eraser at the bottom of my picture moving upward, and slowly but surely, I have been disappearing for some time. The eraser will finally reach my head and then my thoughts, dreams and memories will be erased along with me. Maybe that is actually a good thing. Then I won’t remember that I am invisible.

Biggsuzi

The Theme is Imperfection

This time of year, I find photos in magazines of the "perfect Christmas tree". They are themed and beautiful and perfect. I am a person who LOVES a theme, but somehow this has never worked out on our Christmas tree. As much as part of me would love the color coordination and symmetry, I can't bring myself to create one that looks that way.
As I open the drawers where I store our ornaments, I find ones that we purchased in our travels: Hawaii, Alaska, Banff, the East Coast, Brianhead, Mexico and more. I find the homemade ones from my children where they used too much glue or wrote in an unsteady six year old hand. I find the ones with photos of my kids and grandkids that captured a moment in time never to be relived. I find the most hideous and rudimentary craft ability ones that I can't bear to toss as they were made by my sweet aunt and godmother, long dead. And they each have a spot on the tree.
My life is not perfect. Our tree is not perfect, but it is OUR tree. It speaks to who we are as a family. It remind us of fun moments we shared. It reminds us that love and people matter. It reminds us that who we are today, is partially because of where we went, who we met, and what we experienced together.
Actually, now that I think about it, it is perfect!