Oh, My Aching Back

"Ain't it funny how you're walking through life and it turns on a dime?"
Yesterday, I bent down to pick up the tiny bathroom trash can and tweaked my back. The second I stood up, I knew I had hurt it badly. It was a familiar twinge that resonated through my whole body. Having already scheduled important meetings for the day, I put on my dress and heels and kept moving. By that afternoon, I was paying the price. Sitting was the most uncomfortable. I could barely walk and the pain kept growing. It was a rough night.
I have hurt my back before; I know the drill ~ ibuprofen every four hours and alternate ice and heat. All I want to do is cry. I immediately think about all the days I will lose not running and it depresses me so much. My little, illogical voice in my head wonders if I'll ever run again! I chastise myself for not doing the strengthening exercises my husband is always reminding me to do. I promise, when this injury is behind me, I am going to do them faithfully! I am going to stretch every morning like they recommend in my running magazines.
Then the day comes when I will get up and not feel the twinge. I will be back to my old self and will be able to put on my running shoes, get out in the fresh air and run. I will slowly build back up to where I feel strong and able. I will probably not have time for the strengthening exercises on a regular basis. I will stretch before a run, but not every morning. Yes, back to my old self, both good and bad. We humans are often slow learners and our own worst enemies. Something so fragile as our health is taken for granted, until the day it is taken from us.

You Are My Sunshine

Yesterday, I taught all the kids the song "You Are My Sunshine". I looked it up and found out it has been around since 1939! We found countless renditions of it on You Tube and they wanted to watch them all. I would like to be able to claim that this cool way of spelling "love" was mine, but, alas, it is not. It was in one of the videos we watched. I thought it was so wonderful, I had to recreate it. So simple and yet so powerful. With the three grand kids, we were each making a letter and having fun doing it.

The little ones are growing up in a world where video is at their fingertips. They play games on computers, iPads and iPhones that I cannot even begin to understand. They constantly want to show me what level they have achieved. I can only nod and smile at their cleverness. As much as things change, they also remain the same. People have been singing "You Are My Sunshine" for over 70 years. It's simple message remains as powerful today as it did in the beginning.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy, when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

Amber Michelle

Thirty one years ago today, my life was changed forever. Our first child, a daughter, was born in the wee hours of the morning at St. Joseph's Hospital in Orange. I have always been a reader, so I had read countless books on being pregnant, birth and parenting. I had the facts and I knew what to except. I was prepared. HA! Anyone who has ever been a parent will tell you, being a parent is 10% from a book and 90% winging it as you go. The trick is having enough faith in yourself to let this be okay.
This picture of Amber is one of my favorites, not so much hers. Like every teenager, she longed for adulthood and making her own decisions and being in control. This club called "adulthood" is one that, on some days, you'd like to turn in your membership card. It is not easy. I tell her often the line from the movie "Parenthood" that Mary Steenburgen says to Steve Martin, her husband, "Life is messy." This "messy" picture of her reminds me of a time, long ago, when she was tiny, problems were smaller and protecting her meant plugging up the wall sockets. Little did I know, that was the easy part!
Today, I see a grown woman with three children of her own, juggling all the balls in the air ~ husband, kids, house, job, schedules, etc. I marvel at her ability to do it all. Life continues to be "messy" on so many levels, and yet, even among the mess, it has glorious moments of joy, laughter and beautiful memories.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR DAUGHTER!

Pa & Maddy

This photo speaks volumes about the relationship that Pa and Maddy have with each other. It started long ago when Mark watched Maddy as a baby every Monday while Amber worked. These two are "thick as thieves" as they say. For the record, Pa is the favorite of each of the grand kids, but he and Maddy have something special. It may have something to do with the fact that Pa rarely, if ever, says no to her. He can easily justify another cookie, right before dinner. What's the big deal is his attitude and, besides, he probably wants a cookie also! When I pick Maddy up from school, she greets me happily enough, but before we get up the sidewalk she invariably asks, "Pa couldn't pick me up today?" It has a lot to do with the fact that when he picks her up, there is usually a detour to "rocky road" before dropping her at home. Now that she is older, she loves the secret conspiracy between the two of them but struggles to keep the secret when she'd rather gloat about going for ice cream. May these simple moments be etched in her childhood memories long after Pa is gone.

Memories

"The average person barely knows ten stories from childhood and those are based more on photographs and retellings than memory." I read this line in a book recently and it got me thinking about what my stories from childhood are. Sad to say, the ones that come to mind the clearest and the quickest are the sad/bad memories. I remember the awful, ugly fights my parents had right before they ended their marriage. I remember my then single mother cooking with grease one night and it catching fire. She was taken to the hospital and just out of 8th grade, I was in charge of my three little brothers for a long time. I remember starting my period during her hospital stay and having no one to talk about it. Maybe I don't have many childhood memories because I had a shorter than normal childhood. Circumstances demanded that I leap into adulthood, ready or not, in so many ways.
I think this is why I try so hard to have silly fun with my grand children. I hope a few of our escapades will become some of their childhood memories. I want for them what I did not have. Don't most parents and grand parents want this? We cannot rewrite history, but maybe we can create a future that has more smiles than tears, more fun than failures. I, for one, will never stop believing it's possible.

What's For Dinner?

Here's a great weeknight dinner that you can have on the table in less than 30 minutes. I have been making this recipe since I got it from the Calphalon chef when I was the Culinary Director at Bloomingdale's over a decade ago! It is one of my family's favorites and so easy. I must admit, I had to look around for the recipe as I just make it from memory and estimate the measurements as I go. After you make it a few times, you will probably do the same. My son-in-law actually asked me to show him how to make it!

ITALIAN FUSILLI

What you need:
12 ounces dried fuscilli (I tried other shapes, but this is best)
8 ounces mild or hot Italian sausage
2 can (14 oz each) stewed tomatoes
2 teaspoons fennel seeds
1 cup chopped fresh basil (I grow it in the garden, so I just grab a few sprigs)

What you need to do:
Cook pasta according to package for al dente. While it's cooking, heat a 10 or 12 inch pan over medium heat. Squeeze the sausage from casings into pan; cook, stirring to break up. I recommend the Pampered Chef "Mix and Chop" to really break down the sausage into smaller pieces. This is the handiest kitchen tool I have bought in years! When meat is browned, stir in tomatoes (they can be broken up with the same tool) and the fennel seeds. reduce heat to simmer, uncovered for 5 minutes. When pasta is done, drain and add to tomato-sausage sauce and toss. Add chopped fresh basil and serve.
You can add grated cheese, salt and pepper to taste. This recipe costs about $8 - $10 to make and feeds 5 - 6 people. Add garlic bread and/or a salad if you like. I have even served it for bunco, small, casual dinner parties, etc. ALWAYS a hit and so easy!

Beginnings

Why do people get so enthused about the new year? After all, it is just the next day in our lives. Nothing really earth shaking happens from when we crawl into bed on the last night of 2010 and awaken in 2011. I think people still want to believe in new beginnings and possibilities. No matter how good or bad your life may seem, we all get a little excited at the prospect of a fresh start. It's like starting the school year with new peechees and sharpened pencils. We feel ready to tackle anything with our new supplies.
What are our new supplies for 2011? It would be nice if sharpened pencils were all we needed. Maybe what we need is a sharpened sense of purpose. What can we make better in our lives? What toxic situations and people do we need to leave behind in order to be the best we can be? What do we need to own and stop blaming others? Hard, even harsh, questions to ask ourselves. Then again, the diamond cannot be polished without friction.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!