We Need to Talk

                I’m pretty sure I know four words that strike fear in most men. "We need to talk!" From my experience, it immediately causes them to think about heading outside to that “project” they’ve been meaning to do. They are suddenly on high alert and very wary about what comes next!

                A friend and I were discussing men and their feelings the other day. We both have been married a long time and we think we’ve come to know our spouses well. Feelings are not a top priority with our mates, discussing them even less so. I have decided men’s feelings are one of three things: hungry, horny or tired. Beyond these three feelings, they are caught off guard and on guard to what comes next in the discussion when we start it with those four words. I mean, we have never started a discussion with “We need to talk. What would you like for dinner? We need to talk. Let’s head to the bedroom. We need to talk. You look really tired.” See? Those four little words alert them that something big and deep is probably coming next! Warning! Warning!

Now I know it is not fair to draw a sweeping generality about this. There may be some very sensitive men out there who LOVE to discuss their feelings, I just don’t know them! No judgement, just observation. I think it’s mainly because men do not want to hash and rehash situations or problems. They are programed to solve the problem, not dwell on it. They are raised to fix things, not delve into how the problem makes them feel. They like to project confidence and strength and this is also a reason we love them. However, women often don’t want a solution, they want to dissect and study and probe the problem. This is like speaking a foreign language to men. This is why we have girlfriends!! Girlfriends speak the same language as us. They don’t mind a good dissection of a situation. They let us wallow a bit and usually help us help ourselves to find the solution. And even if we don’t find the solution, we usually feel better afterwards just by having the discussion.

None of this is meant to be a slight on our men. It is meant to help us all realize that they mean well, they love us and really do want to help us find the solution. Just don’t ask then how they feel about it! Remember, the only answers are hungry, horny or tired!!

How does that make you feel?!