Anniversary

Today we have been married 36 years. When people hear this, they often seem amazed, impressed, or even astonished. In today's disposable society, it seems to be quite a feat. I detest the term "wedded bliss" because there is no such thing! I don't know of a marriage out there that would first use the word bliss to describe their marriage. It is work ~ plain and simple. Just as the vows we recited to each other all those years ago promised, there have been times of "richer and poorer, sickness and health". When you stand before your spouse-to-be, your family and friends on that wedding day, you may think you understand these promises, but it isn't until later, when life rolls along (and sometimes over you!) that you are really asked to re-keep those promises. Therein lies the essence of marriage. You have to choose your spouse and your marriage over and over again.
Sometimes, you don't choose it. You sit across the dining room table and think, "What am I doing here with this person? I hate the way they breathe (or fill in your own verb here)!" These feelings are as loud and true as the ones you felt on your wedding day. This is when many people leave and look to start again with someone else who will be smarter, funnier, more serious, etc., etc. Who, married for a long period of time, hasn't considered an escape hatch or wondered what they are missing? Knowing you are not alone with these feelings is comforting. We all have these moments.
So, if I get this less than satisfied feeling, why do I stay? I stay because, for all his irritating traits that make me crazy, he is still the finest man I have ever met in my life. We don't agree on many things, but he is a silent force that will take care of his family and the people he loves, no matter what it takes. He will never be the guy who writes on Facebook, "I love my wife!!" He is the guy who makes sure the windows and doors are locked at night to keep us safe. He is the guy who will quietly go to Pei Wei for dinner when he really was hoping for Mexican food. He is the guy who will leave the others to enjoy the last of their dinner and glass of wine and go push the babies on the swings just because they asked. He is the guy who may not read my mind for what I need, but, when asked, he will do whatever it is I want. Not because he is a pushover, but because he loves me. He knows me better than anyone on this earth and, somehow, amazingly, still loves imperfect me! Now that is wedded bliss!!