Things I've Learned

My daughter, Amber, wrote a blog this week about the things she's learned while having a broken foot and in a cast for the past 6 weeks. It made me think that I, too, have learned a few things through this.

• There is a reason that AA and other addiction groups tell you to take it, "one day at a time" because if you looked at the entire time you had to do something, wait for something, overcome something, it would be so daunting you couldn't do it. Being able to put your head on the pillow at night and know you made it another day is an accomplishment.
• Being a receiver of kindness, rather than the giver is hard to do. People offered Amber help in the beginning and she just said thanks and left it at that. However, a week into this journey, we realized the kids were all reacting in their own way and could use some fun and attention. Amber scheduled play dates, outings, rides to school, etc. Every bit of it was a help to all of us. When you are so used to be the capable one, the giver and doer, being on the receiving end takes some adjustment.
• Even in a really lousy time in your life, good things happen that make you smile. This, once again, reminds us of how much our attitude and perspective affect our daily lives. Seeing that little ray of goodness can carry us through to the next day if we just see it.
• My daughter is stronger than she thinks. I am at a loss for words to describe how important she is to me. Yes, I felt like a pack mule sometimes, carting her computer, handbag, organizer, etc, in and out of the car , to and from places. We spent SO much time together during this ordeal doing very ordinary things, but we were together doing them. How many long distance mothers and daughters would do anything for that privilege?
• Finding the right words when someone is going through a rough patch in life is difficult. Being too positive annoys them. Agreeing that this sucks and is unbearable doesn't do much good either. What I have learned is that you need to just let me talk. They are not looking for a solution to the situation, they just need to vent. Listen, listen, listen.

The cast will be off in two weeks and life will slowly go back to "normal". I love that word because, really, what is "normal"? I have a sign in my laundry room that says, "Normal is a setting on the washing machine". Normal for me may be crazy for you and vice versa. That's okay with me. I like my "normal" just fine.