Mothers

As Mother's Day approaches, it makes me pause and think about motherhood. I didn't have a great mom. She was a product of her mom, also not a great mom. I was determined not to be the next link in the chain. I have felt both successful and a complete failure at various times in my life with my mothering.
Looking back now, I think I expected way too much perfection in my children. What a waste of energy! We mothers think that anything our kids do or don't do is a reflection of us and the world will judge us because our kid dressed themselves this morning and everything is mismatched. Someone told me once that they have a saying in Japan ~ industrious mothers make lazy children and lazy mothers make industrious children. I understand the point. I probably did way too much for my kids and it did make them lazy in some ways, but they are also pretty great adults with kindness in their hearts, quick wits and fun to be around. Neither of them went to Harvard or got drafted for a major league sport. They are ordinary and yet extraordinary. Can I take credit for this? If you take credit for the great stuff, you better be ready to take responsibility for the bad stuff. Truth is, they were both planned, wanted and loved to the best of my ability. I have made some mistakes and for that, I am sorry. As we both get older, I think we have found ways to accept the quirks in each other and realize parenting is a hard job and no matter how many books you read on how to do it, the real truth is, you write the book as you go. I want it to end..."and they all lived happily ever after!"