Halfway Party

Today marks four weeks that Amber has been in her cast with a broken foot. I decided to have a halfway celebration after dinner. The kids were so excited because they knew about it and didn't spill the beans! We wore 1/2 way hats and I got an ice cream cake that was a 1/2 circle!! Yes, she still has another 4 weeks, but it still is something to celebrate. When she was on day two, she didn't think she could make it at all. Here she is today and it's half over. We humans turn out to be a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit. Life is not a straight line; it meanders and turns in ways we never dreamed possible. The trick is to enjoy the journey...even on a broken foot!

Bestest Cooker

As many of you may or may not know, I cook dinner at my daughter and son-in-law's house about five nights a week. Some people think I am crazy, while others have asked to be put on a waiting list to do the same for their family! Some nights, I feel like it's the last thing I want to do at the end of the day, but for the most part, I don't mind at all. There is something pretty special about having three generations gathered at the same table night after night.
Tonight we had sliders and mini tater tots, hardly gourmet. The little ones decided that these are actually "crabby patties" like on Sponge Bob. Once they were named that, they eat them like they are going out of style! In fact, tonight, Jack (age 3) looked at me and said, "Grammie, you are the bestest cooker ever!" I thanked him for the compliment and then he said that he will keep me in his heart forever!!! I am pretty sure, no matter what you had for dinner tonight, mine was better...crabby patties and tater tots with a huge side of love from a little one; and no calories to boot!!

Keep VS Toss

I was searching for a pair of pants over the weekend and came across a pair I didn't even know I had! It made me painfully aware that it was time to clean out the closet. Usually when I take on this task, it is with my daughter planted on the bed offering cold-hearted comments about each thing I show her. She is not a saver and I am. She has been known to exclaim, "Good God, mother! What were you thinking when you bought that thing!?!?!" It usually results in a few good laughs, along with the tough critique. In the end, there are several bags of clothes to give to chairty.
It made me think about what we hang on to in our lives that really no longer fits. I don't mean clothes, I mean thoughts and attitudes. What once seemed so important that we'd stand our ground even if it meant stoney silence to our husband or a lost friendship, somehow seems not worth the fight. As we age, do we give up or do we actually become wise enough to pick only truly important battles? Is any battle so important that it leaves us standing alone and angry? Is making a point more important than being happy? Being right is not always as satisfying as we had imagined it to be. Holding a conviction seems less important than holding a hand.

My Week

This past week was a hectic one. Amber hit the three week mark with her broken foot with five more weeks to go. She is sick of the positive spin I try and put on this ugly situation..."almost to the halfway point", "it looks less bruised", "the doctor said the x-ray shows progress". I must admit, I am running out of "positive spins" because it is a difficult situation for all of us. She can't be left alone with the kids because she can't chase after them. This is clearly a requirement when you have a 5, 3, & 2 year old. It is in the Mother Handbook! We are all pitching in, but nobody does it like mommy. I NEED TO RUN!
Last week, we took all three kids to the doctor. The girls had double ear infections and Jack a wheezy cough. Jack's recheck was yesterday and, while he was better, we told the doctor he refused to take the meds. No amount of threats or promises of treats convinced him to swallow the darn pink stuff! The doctor looked at him and said if he wouldn't swallow the meds, she'd have to give him a shot. He looked her straight in the eye and said, "OK, I'll take the shot." What 3 year old picks the shot?!?! Turns out, it is a med that stings and has to be given in the leg, not the arm. I had to hold him down on the table and talk to him while the nurse SLOWLY put this needle into him. It was the longest minute of my life. The nurse even admitted it hurts and stings. Jack cried, but not too much, while I held him. I NEED TO RUN!
On a more positive note, my friend and I were randomly picked to run the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco on 10/17/10. So many people want to enter this race, they choose by lottery. I have never run farther that 7 miles. A half marathon is 13.1 miles. I felt a weird fluttering in my stomach when the email came over letting us know "Congratulations! You are in!" I couldn't tell if the fluttering was excitement or complete fear. Maybe both! I have six months to train and prepare. I NEED TO RUN!

When You Are Down

We have all been there from time to time. The world makes us weary and feels so overwhelming that we can barely force ourselves out of bed in the morning. Sadness, depression or however you define "down" does not discriminate. Knowing it hits all of us from time to time is a help in and of itself.
What do you do when you are down? Do you hide and avoid people? Do you put on a fake mask to get through the day? Do you scream and cry? Do you lash out at those closest to you? None of these ideas are much of a solution, but it is easy to fall into one or some of the behaviors to cope. I kind of like the saying, "Fake it til you make it." Sometimes just trying to put on a happy face, however fake it feels at the time, can lead to you actually feeling happy. If not actually happy, it can at least make you feel a little better.
We humans need other humans. We were not made to be isolated or alone for very long. In our darkest times, even if we think we want to be alone, connecting with other people can make a huge difference. I have always liked the saying ~ "Friends multiply joy and divide sorrow". I would like to think that I have been there for people in my life and helped to divide their sorrow. You actually give people a tremendous gift when you let them share in on your sorrows. Anybody can share joy, that's easy. Count yourself blessed if you have someone to help divide the sorrow.

Photographs

My daughter and I were having a discussion yesterday where I ponder that age old question, "Do I look as old as so and so does because she is about my age?". It made me think about how we take a picture in our minds of people, parents, children, etc. and then we don't update it. One day, it is jarring for us to realize that the person has gotten so much older. It is time to update the photograph in our mind.
I look in the mirror with a realistic eye and see every wrinkle, flaw & age spot. Rarely do I go out without make up unless I am going for a run. It would be just my luck to run into an old (no pun intended) high school friend when my face is bare, so why risk it? Seeing me that way would force them to update their photograph of me ~ yikes!!
The pictures that usually portray the grandmother, even in today's society, always annoys me. She is invariably gray haired and wearing glasses! Come on, we grammies are WAY cooler than that today! We are usually younger, more active and certainly feel free to dye our hair to keep gray nowhere in sight!
One of the hardest photographs to update in our mind is that of our parents. Oh, yes, we know they are getting older, after all, we are getting older right along side of them. One day, usually quite by accident, we look up and realize they are truly, not just getting older, but aging. They are moving a little slower and forgetting a little more. It forces us to realize they will not be here forever. We are forced, against our will, to update the photograph in our mind. Along with that, we are also forced to realize that we are no longer the "cute, young couple" in the family, but we are the "older, established grown ups" that gather at one table at parties and wonder where the time has gone. We also silently pray that it will be a long time before we are gone.

A Bra & Bananas

So, our local Target just installed an entire section of fresh foods. I am not sure how I feel about this. First, while waiting in line today, I realized that it is going to take a lot longer to check out with people buying so many food items. Bah! I also realized, how funny it is to see a bra and bananas in the same cart! I'm in sales. I get the concept of, once they're in the store, sell 'em everything you can, but this is kind of crazy. The combination of options really is very amusing - tampons & tacos, a football & fruit, a hat & hamburger. See what I mean? Not only can we shop for just about everything we need at Target, we can also get a good chuckle at the item combinations in people's carts. I might just go in and put two really obscure things in my cart to see if anyone notices. It's almost like doing stand up comedy, don't you think? I wonder if I can buy bananas and a YELLOW bra?!?!

Large & In Charge

Sean is out of town for a week & Amber is laid up with a broken foot. This all means one thing...Grammie is in charge! Now, under normal circumstances, we are very involved grandparents anyway, but in light of the current situation, I have an even bigger role. After we had dinner and baths last night, I was the person responsible for getting everybody to bed. That is not really a difficult task; difficult is KEEPING them in bed. As every generation before them, my own kids included, they each try the stall tactics. I consider it a personal victory that it only took two tries to settle all three in for the night.
I get to (see previous blog) spend the night while Sean is away because Amber can't get up in the night with the broken foot to tend to them. Most of us don't sleep as well when we are not in our own bed. Couple that with trying to listen for any wakers and it makes for a tired grammie in the am. Jack got up at 3am. I hustled him back to bed and he was fine. Dear, sweet Abbey decided that 5:30am was a great time to start her day and had no intention of returning to her bed! The bonus for her early start was cuddle time on the couch with just the two of us under a warm blanket. By 6:30am the house was in full swing with "Dora" playing in the background.
None of this amounts to anything newsworthy, or "blog worthy", and yet it does. It is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. It is hectic, messy, loud and busy. It is also full of love, full of laughter, full of people for whom I would walk through fire. Don't be jealous!

I Get To...

Just finished reading an article in the latest "Runner's World" magazine and I had to share this. A woman wrote an article about running one morning and starting up a hill. Her inside voice said, "I have to get up this hill." She made it with a struggle and later shared the experience with another runner. This other woman told her she no longer says, "I have to...." anything. She has changed the thought to, "I GET to...". She now says she GETS to run. Many people cannot run and would love the chance. She GETS to pick her kids up from school. Just think of the person who sits in intensive care with her child. She GETS to run her errands. Others would love to have a car and the means to get around town and complete their tasks. She GETS to make her house payment. Families are living on the streets in this world with little hope for their future. She GETS to go to work. Countless people are unemployed today.
Thoughts become actions. If we see our day and it's chores as a burden, that's what it becomes. If we see the same day and the same chores and remind ourselves we GET to do these things, we might just see the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and we GET to find joy in all of it.
What do you GET to do today?

Angels

"I've seen and met angels disguised as ordinary people."
Have you personally met any angels? I know I have. They have come in the form of a friend who calls out of the blue on a day I need a friendly voice. They have come in the form of someone who lets me cut in line at the store when I am pressed for time. They have come in the form of tiny hands placed on either side of my face to get my attention and listen for a minute.
These small moments keep us going and confirm that life is going to be okay. The thing is, angels are pretty quiet and if you aren't careful, you might miss them. They don't yell; they whisper. They don't flap; they flutter.
Shhhh...listen....there's one now!

The Agony & The Ecstasy

These two photos were taken on Easter morning. They really speak to life's challenges and joys. My daughter broke her foot last week and is going to be in a cast for the next 8 weeks. Now this would be daunting for any one's lifestyle, but try and picture it with a five, three and two year old who need you constantly. We mothers are so often the unsung heroes that set the tone in all families. Nobody notices the clean socks in their drawer, but they will be the first to yell, "Hey, where are my socks??" when the drawer is empty. I used to tell my family that little elves did not do all these things, I did! The good news is that her current non-ambulatory state is not permanent. This too shall pass. It will be one of those memories you bring up and actually laugh about sometime in the future. Well, maybe only smile about, in this case!

Then there's the other picture, captured the same day and within minutes of each other. Abbey with her faced filled with joy after the egg hunt. She is proudly showing all of us her plastic ring on her finger. She loved running and finding the eggs. Her joy was so evident that it couldn't help but spill onto those of us who were watching her.

In viewing both of these pictures, taken one right after the other, I couldn't help but see the similarities to life. We all have good and bad that occurs in our life. We have worries, challenges, broken bones even. We also have beautiful, joyous events that fill us with hope and wonder and remind us that life is good. Sometimes it even comes in the form of a tiny, plastic ring!

What Would You Give Up?

If someone said to me that I could never have dessert again, I would say, "Oh, OK, but can I have another piece of bread?" It made me think about what we would be willing to give up. I like to have it all, but the reality of it is, some times you just can't because of money, time or circumstances. So, what matters more and what are you willing to give up? I would rather give up a pedicure to get my hair color done. I've done both my own pedicures and my own hair color at different times of my life and it turned out okay. I know my hair turns out better from a professional and I rationalize that I can wear closed-toed shoes. I would give up buying something for myself in order to be able to buy something for the grand kids. Yes, we both have so much and there is very little we actually need, but seeing the joy on their faces is a gift in and of itself. I would give up the same old, steady, boring thing (job) for the unknown and a new adventure. It is hard to give up automatic deposit every Friday, but when I realize I have given up a part of my joy and creativity as part of the price, I would rather go and see what is around the next corner, even if it is an unknown. What if it's better? What if it's more exciting? What if I never gave it a try? What would I have missed?
Whether it's as small as dessert or as big as a new career, we all need, at some point in our lives, to ask ourselves what we are willing to give up. What we hold on to says a lot about who we are. What would you give up?

Buying Happiness

As the saying goes, "You can't buy happiness." Wait a minute, I actually think you CAN buy happiness. It's easy if you have unlimited cash...vacations, fancy dinners, concerts, etc. The trick is to buy happiness on a shoe string budget; perhaps more challenging, but doable.
Happiness comes not necessarily from the money, but how certain acts make us feel. Being generous always makes me feel happy. It can be as small as adding change into some one's expired parking meter or paying for the coffee of the car behind you in the line at Starbucks. I find myself smiling as I drive away wondering what that person thinks and that maybe they will be kind to someone else today and keep it going.
Having an attitude of gratefulness makes me happy. I try to write thank you notes whenever I can. I feel good writing them and I assume the person who gets it also feels a little happier. Great skill to teach young children. You can't be angry, or upset at the same time you are feeling grateful.
Having people in your life, friends, mate, family can make all the difference on the happy scale. Any activity you do with someone else makes you happier as it strengthens the bond of your relationship. It's a proven fact that people who have stronger and bigger social networks are happier.
Physical activity has also been proven to increase happiness. They say that the feel-good endorphins released while you're working out makes you feel good, not only while you are doing, but for the next 12 hours as well. This includes activities such as meditation and relaxation as well as physical exercise.
All of these ideas cost very little and yet hold huge potential on the happiness scale. Let's all plan on buying a little happiness.