I've been MIA from this blog for the last year for good reason. November 2021, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 2022 was a difficult year to say the least. However, I like to believe that good comes from bad. I took last year to write a book about my journey. It is honest, sad and funny all at the same time. I am proud to say it is on Amazon. You can find it by searching my name: Susan Svoboda or the title:

I Hate the Color Pink. If you pick up a copy, I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

One in eight women in the United States will get breast cancer. The possibility of it touching you or someone you know is great. I hope this book offers some insight and comfort to those who read it.

Unsolicited advice - never miss your mammogram! 

Biggsuzi

Sunsets

"It is almost impossible to watch a sunset and not dream.”

            While on a weeklong driving vacation, I told my husband that one of my goals was to capture a sunset photo each night. While this may sound easy, I mean after all, they happen every day, it proved to be a challenge. The photos above are the result of our efforts. Sometimes we stopped in a crazy spot on the side of the road, risking life and limb to grab the photo. Other nights we were lucky enough to just be where it was beautiful and an easy shot. Each one is different and yet similar. I’m not sure what the magic in a sunset is, but I am sure that each contains that magic. The beauty of the colors is part of it, but I think it contains so much hope and joy. Even if the day was not all good, ending it with a sunset proves that there is goodness in each day. The trick is to stop and notice it. Isn’t that true of so many things in our lives? Stopping and noticing is the key to finding joy.

Stop. Notice. Appreciate. Repeat.

Tales from the Fourth Grade

                When I was about to enter the 4^th grade, my parents received word that I had been accepted at Holy Family Catholic School in Orange. You would have thought it was Harvard by their overjoyed reaction! Up until that point, I had been a public school girl. Now the Sisters of St. Joseph would be looking out for my education as well as my spiritual growth.

                Sister John of the Cross was my 4^th grade teacher. I will never forget her! She was about four feet tall and four feet wide!  What she lacked in stature, she more than made up with her stern scowls and cross words. Strict discipline was her primary lesson every day. The ruler she carried around also added to her commanding presence. I was so afraid of her, I worried I might pee my pants as she approached my row of desks. Back in those days, a Catholic school classroom had about 45 – 55 students. It seemed the only way to contain that many kids was with this strict discipline, occasional threats and that darn ruler.

                Every morning, there were four math problems on the board that we were to solve as soon as we took our seats. Then, one unlucky student was selected to approach the board and solve all the problems in front of the class. This one morning, she called upon Thomas G. I actually remember his last name, but I’m protecting the guilty! Now we all knew that Thomas G. was the dumbest kid in our class. It wasn’t meant to be mean, it was just something we all knew. When he went up to the board, we all held our breath wondering what was about to come next. Thomas just stood there, like a statue. He didn’t even try to solve any of the math problems. Sister waited as long as her impatience would allow, then slowly approached Thomas. When she reached him, she said. “I’m going to knock your left eye into your right ear!” Of course she didn’t follow through on this threat but to this day, I can hear those menacing words and feel how very frightened I was.

                Fast forward two decades and my husband and I did what was called Marriage Encounter. It was a weekend of intense learning how to communicate with each other, share feelings, etc. It was held on the grounds of the Sisters of St. Joseph campus in Orange. After the first evening, as we were leaving to go to our rooms, there was a paper posted on the door of the meeting room. It was a list of every couple attending and the name of the sister who would be praying for them the entire weekend. As a scanned the list and found our names, guess who was the nun praying for us?! Sister John of the Cross!! I couldn’t believe this and had to explain to my husband the terror I felt during the fourth grade in her class. What were the chances that this particular nun would be praying for us??!! I shook my head in disbelief.

                Walking across the campus the next morning to breakfast, there was a nun coming towards us driving a little scooter. Lo and behold, it was none other than Sister John of the Cross! You can’t make this up! It felt like a movie script instead of my real life.  Sister wasn’t young when I was ten years old and now she was downright feeble. She clearly drove the scooter because she could no longer walk.  I felt compelled to stop her and explain that I was in her class many, many years ago and now she was praying for my husband and me. That scary, stern woman was the tiniest, sweetest little person who assured us we had already been in her prayers and she would continue to pray for us. She even smiled! There was no ruler in sight.  I will never forget the entire encounter.

                Coincidence? Maybe? I’d rather think it was God’s hand! Miracle moments occur in our lives all the time. We just need to notice them.

Biggsuzi

Spring

I need to look no further than the orange tree in my backyard to be reminded that spring is on its way. The tree is covered in white sweet smelling blossoms that will soon be oranges. After what feels like a long winter (it’s lasted two years, right?!), there is hope for the change of season and longer, sunny days to be outside. Spring is also a time when people talk about “spring cleaning”. While it is usually used in reference to clearing closets of clutter and putting an extra shine on parts of the house that we may have neglected, I’d like to also think about our own personal spring cleaning.

What do we need to get rid of? Anger? Hurt? Disappointment? The longer we live, the more likely these things have entered our lives and given us pause to wonder about the true nature of people. Yes, people hurt each other. It happens to everyone. It leaves its mark on our heart and, often, that mark runs deep. Sometimes we hurt each other consciously and other times, unknowingly. Either way, the damage is done. The trick, I think, is to not let these hurts and disappointments be in the center stage of our mind. Sure, examine them, feel them and then move on. Give them a small compartment in your head but not all of it. It’s been proven over and over, the thoughts we have now can control our future thoughts. Rather than seeing the bad, seeing the good opens up the possibility of more good entering our thoughts and our lives. Bad breeds bad. Good breeds good. It’s that simple and yet that difficult. Nobody wishes for a life of hurt and misery and yet, many of us have a life built on those things rather than joy and love.

So grab your mop and Pine Sol and start doing some spring cleaning. And while you’re at it, allow your mind to get a good spring cleaning as well. Both will make your life less burdened and give it a much needed shine.

Happy spring ~ in our houses, in our hearts and in our minds!

Biggsuzi

We Need to Talk

                I’m pretty sure I know four words that strike fear in most men. "We need to talk!" From my experience, it immediately causes them to think about heading outside to that “project” they’ve been meaning to do. They are suddenly on high alert and very wary about what comes next!

                A friend and I were discussing men and their feelings the other day. We both have been married a long time and we think we’ve come to know our spouses well. Feelings are not a top priority with our mates, discussing them even less so. I have decided men’s feelings are one of three things: hungry, horny or tired. Beyond these three feelings, they are caught off guard and on guard to what comes next in the discussion when we start it with those four words. I mean, we have never started a discussion with “We need to talk. What would you like for dinner? We need to talk. Let’s head to the bedroom. We need to talk. You look really tired.” See? Those four little words alert them that something big and deep is probably coming next! Warning! Warning!

Now I know it is not fair to draw a sweeping generality about this. There may be some very sensitive men out there who LOVE to discuss their feelings, I just don’t know them! No judgement, just observation. I think it’s mainly because men do not want to hash and rehash situations or problems. They are programed to solve the problem, not dwell on it. They are raised to fix things, not delve into how the problem makes them feel. They like to project confidence and strength and this is also a reason we love them. However, women often don’t want a solution, they want to dissect and study and probe the problem. This is like speaking a foreign language to men. This is why we have girlfriends!! Girlfriends speak the same language as us. They don’t mind a good dissection of a situation. They let us wallow a bit and usually help us help ourselves to find the solution. And even if we don’t find the solution, we usually feel better afterwards just by having the discussion.

None of this is meant to be a slight on our men. It is meant to help us all realize that they mean well, they love us and really do want to help us find the solution. Just don’t ask then how they feel about it! Remember, the only answers are hungry, horny or tired!!

How does that make you feel?!

Bruises

Train has a song called “Bruises” that says: 

“These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It's good to let you in again
You're not alone in how you've been
Everybody loses
We all got bruises” 

Listening to it today (again) made me think about what defines us. We are all a product of our experiences. This includes both good and bad, wins and losses.  What makes some people live in the past, blaming their parents, their old bosses, their old partners for their current state of being?  When do we say, “Enough!” and own our own stuff? Yes, we’ve all got bruises. It’s part of life.  We have had experiences in the past that may have left us sad, lonely or confused. We have also had experiences that left us feeling joy, wonder and satisfied and, even for a while, with the thought that all is right in the world.

                How do we keep the negative roar down to a minimum so we can experience the quiet calm of peace? For me, I know the negative tapes run so much louder in my head than the positive ones. When the ugly “I can’ts” or “I’m nots” creep into my thoughts, I literally need to say to myself, “Stop.” It takes conscious effort to replace these thoughts with more positive ones.  I really like “I will have a good day today because I am ready for a good day.” Hokey? Maybe, but words are powerful and thoughts even more powerful. We attract what we think. It’s been proven over and over by people much smarter than me. When we appreciate something, we are willing the universe to please give us more! Recognizing when we fall back into old habits and negative thoughts, we have the power to change the tape running in our head and replace it with positive ones. Like any behavior we want to change, it takes time and practice.

                Hey, we all got bruises. 

Passion

                You may think this is a post about running, but it is not. It’s a post about passion. Recently, I was sidelined from running for four weeks. After getting back to it this last week, I realized it is more than about fitness and health for me. It is a passion I have discovered in myself very late in life. I never ran at all until I was 55 years old. Many people claim they would only run if someone were chasing them! They think it sounds like a terrible kind of torture. It’s not for everyone. For me, it is a time of reflection, prayer and peace. I have time to thank God for my blessings and beseech Him for many other things. I pray for the health of my family and friends. I pray that my grandkids make good decisions in their teen years. I pray for a softer heart and a kinder voice for myself. The list goes on and on.  I am in the outdoors (I hate my treadmill) smelling the air, seeing what’s going on in my neighborhood and staying alert so I don’t get hit by a car! Some days it is harder to get out the door than others, but I find on those days, the feeling at the end of the run is even more euphoric. Running has helped me lose weight, enhanced my mental health and proved to myself that I can do so much more than I think I can.

                I am here to challenge you to figure out what’s YOUR passion. Passion, by definition, is described as a powerful or compelling emotion or feeling. Your passion could be crafting, volunteering, travel adventures, reading, knitting, bird watching and more. If you are stumped about what your passion might be, ask yourself these questions. In the last week, what gave me joy? What made me smile? What did I do and thought, “I wish I had more time to do this." Your passion is just that, yours! It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks (crazy old lady runner!), it matters what YOU think. I’m very sure passion comes from the heart and not the head. It requires a bit of curiosity and being a little brave to try something you hadn’t considered before now. I remember over a decade ago, asking myself, “Could I run a 5K?” I’m honestly not even sure where that notion came from, but I’m glad I allowed myself to step outside the box and find out. It has brought me so much joy over the years. I have set goals and achieved them. I have been to nine different states for a run and seen unforgettable sunrises. I have witnessed people helping other people over 13.1 miles that made me continue to have faith in the goodness of the human spirit. It’s given me a boatload of cool medals as proof of my accomplishments. All this because I decided to try something new!

                So, what’s your passion? Give yourself permission to be curious and seek the answer. Many people ask, “What’s my purpose? Is this all there is to life? Can there be more?” Finding your passion leads to finding the answers. Finding the answers leads to joy and contentment. Sounds good to me!