Son-in-Law

I have always said, when it comes to your kids you cannot write the script for them. Never has this been more true as when they get married. The one you love (daughter) chooses the one she loves, and the rest is up to you and that person. For me, I got really lucky and/or blessed with my son-in-law.
He and I see eye to eye on many things. Our parenting styles are very similar. We are the ones who "run a tight ship", while my daughter and my husband tend to let the "monkeys run the zoo" as I say. We became running buddies last year and I think that activity and shared interest cemented our already tight bond. He loves that I cook as his wife detests cooking. He never fails to say thank you for dinner. We bounce business ideas off each other and really listen to the other's suggestions. We both appreciate a raunchy joke, especially when it annoys Amber, which makes it all the more fun for us! That being said, it is not always rosy. I probably butt in more than I should because we are around so much. Plant my son-in-law in front of a TV, especially with a sporting event on, and I am pretty sure he wouldn't notice if the house was on fire! Sometimes you have to remind him many times over to take care of something. We are all human with our strengths as well as our weaknesses. The trick is to appreciate the strengths and overlook some of the weaknesses. Acceptance is really a gift. Sean & I accept each other. We didn't actually pick each other, but we share a common love for someone dear to us. Now, years later, we share that love with three other little creatures as well.
Out of all the things we talk about, I don't think I tell him that I appreciate how much he loves his wife and children. Well, I do, and I am thankful he is in our lives.

Plan "B"

I am an organized person. I make lists. I make plans. This is how I like to run my life (and if you ask my husband, everybody else's life as well!!) More often than not, things don't go as planned. Today was one of those days. Today I stopped everything and held a sweet two year old granddaughter with a 102 degree temperature. She did not want to be put down. She wanted to hold my hand. She wanted me to gently rub her head. She dozed in my arms. I got nothing else done, but, actually, I got the most important thing done. I forgot all the other junk that fills my life and I was 100% there for her. I forgot about my plan for the day and I shifted to Plan "B". Her needs were my Plan "B". When she is grown, I doubt she will ever remember this day. As for me, I will never forget it! I thank God for what these children have to teach me. I only hope I am a good student.

Problems

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."

Who among us has a problem free life? Nobody!! The truth is, things happen. Garage doors get broken, we have a flat tire, the check we were expecting doesn't come in the mail, we get a cold & the house needs painting. The list is endless. Although we know logically that everyone has problems, when we are knee deep in our own, it can feel very isolating and overwhelming. We feel like the only person floating in the boat.
Nobody gets out of this life without bumps and bruises. I am amazed at some people I know who happen to be kind and giving and, yet, they seem to be faced with a multitude of problems. Their true beauty is watching the grace with which they shoulder these problems. I admire and respect them more than words can say. I try and learn from their ability to weather these storms in their life and come out at the other end.
Whatever problems you are faced with today, as you read this, I hope and pray that you will be able to see past it and keep on going. Funny thing is, what we look for, we usually find. Look for sadness and the world shows you tons of sadness. Look for joy and, guess what, the world shows you tons of joy. If you think I'm wrong, keep looking!

Rare Moment

I don't know about you, but I usually hate every picture of me that is taken. Last week, I had photos taken for my new business and website (check it out at www.thedayyourway.com). The photographer is Lam Huynh ~ Seen by Lam. Her work is amazing. She really has an eye for capturing people looking relaxed and happy. I asked her to use the lens that makes you look thinner and younger! When she sent me this picture, along with others, I was so surprised that I didn't hate it! In fact, I might even say I liked it! It didn't hurt that before the pictures were taken, I had my hair done by Nancy Rees. That is called stacking the deck - hair and photo by professionals. No wonder the movie stars always look perfect in photos. They have had people pampering them for hours ahead of time.
Amber, my daughter, says I am the historian of the family because I am always the one taking the pictures and capturing the events in our family. Truth be told, I like it behind the camera. I rarely end up in a photograph and I don't have to agonize about my hair or anything else looks. I guess that's why this time, I had to share this one with you. I'm keeping a copy in my desk drawer and when I have a bad day, I'm going to pull it out and remind myself that I clean up good!

Too Much Stuff

I looked around my house this week and decided I have TOO MUCH STUFF! When is it enough? Now, don't get me wrong, I love nice things. My husband and I have worked hard to buy the lovely things we have. I am very attached to some of my "stuff". We joke that we can't downsize and move because where would I keep all my holiday decorations alone?! I don't mean just Christmas; I decorate for EVERY holiday and have bins labeled and filled for each holiday.
I recall one Christmas, years ago, when I declared I only wanted gifts that did not need to be dusted! It was one of the best Christmases ever! I received gift cards to restaurants, bottles of wine, spa gift certificates, bubble bath, etc. Nothing to dust!!
Tonight, I am going to a play with my dearest friend because last Christmas we decided that neither of us needed any more "stuff" so we gave each other tickets to two plays this year. Having an experience, especially together, is a much better than more "stuff". Creating memories is the "stuff" I want as I get older. BBQing on Sunday nights with my son-in-law, getting my toes done with my daughter, meaningful conversation over a cup of coffee with a friend, these are the "stuff" I want. I am planning on giving my friends great gifts this year...and nothing to dust!

Another Men Vs. Women

I found this old cartoon that I have been saving for probably 20 years. It still makes me smile when I read it. It also makes me stop and wonder why it would never be a picture of two boys in the picture.
We women have made ourselves crazy for decades trying to be eternally thin and young and beautiful. Where we look in the mirror and see every flaw, men look in the mirror, never seeing the paunch, grey hairs and wrinkles and proclaim, "Dang! I look pretty good!" Men and women find themselves on opposite extremes. Maybe somewhere in the middle is the happy ground we should we trying to achieve.
"You look good for your age." ~ What does that mean? Is it a complement or not? I know in my head that people mean well when they say it, but my heart still longs to be the cute, hot chick in her 30s. I was in line at Starbucks the other day and the man behind me struck up a conversation. Let's just say, I am pretty sure he was around when Hoover was president! He was actually flirting with me! I went home and told my husband, "As long as they are old enough, I am still eye candy!"
I have decided to start hanging around the outside of rest homes. I think it will do wonders for my self esteem!

Opportunity

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

Have you ever noticed that many people in life are waiting? Waiting for the right job, waiting for their true love, waiting for things to get better, waiting, waiting and waiting. It seems to me that a lot of time is wasted in this waiting. I would rather forge ahead and see what happens. In moving ahead, even into the unknown, it seems there is more opportunity for something to happen. Yes, there can be false starts, even failures, but even in failure we can grow and learn. I prefer that painful growth to just waiting. I am not a patient person who likes to wait. My husband says I "pull the trigger" too quickly in many things. He may be right, but there is little chance that I am going to change. Truth be told, I really don't want to change this about me. My mind is always thinking ahead and visualizing the next opportunity. There may be obstacles in the way, but, still, the opportunity calls to me and I want to go with it. Even if I have to build the door first to get there.