Directions VS Scenery

I read a book once where the woman said she was so busy looking at the map, she forgot to look out the window. I think I am also guilty of this statement.
If you ask my family, I am the cruise director, planner and "boss lady" for most of our events. I don't just mean vacations or outings, but day-to-day planning like meals, shopping, etc. Most of the time, I enjoy this role; I self-created it. Being in control is where I like to be and, for the most part, my family just lets me go and do my thing. After all this time, they reason it is easier to just go along with the way I have planned things than to challenge me. For the most part, my organization and skills as "boss lady" means the others can relax and go with the flow. They get to spend a lot of time looking out the window while I read the map. As I said, I enjoy the role, for the most part. But occasionally, I would like to put down the map and look out the window also. What prevents me from doing this? Not my family, that's for sure. They tell me the only reason they defer to my plans is that I seem to need to make them. They say they really don't care. They say that things will probably work out fine even if I don't make the elaborate plans. I can feel my palms get sweaty just hearing them say these words! Can they possibly be right? I fear finding out and yet, at times, I am weary from being the "boss lady". I feel out of answers and ideas. I am tired. I want to stop looking at the map all the time and look out the window a little more. I just can't figure out how to refold this darn map!

Just Do It

"Runners just do it ~ they run for the finish line even if someone else has reached it first."
Today marks the first time that I have rerun a 5K race that I did before. In fact, the Newport Beach Spirit Run was the first 5K Sean and I ever ran when we started training last year. I am proud to say I came in 3rd in my age division with a respectable time of 30:26. It is the second best time I have ever run in all ten of the races I've entered. When they posted the results, I can't lie, I was SO excited! I waited around an extra half hour just to collect my silly third place medal. All the way home, I kept saying to my husband, "I finished third!!" I could tell he was really proud of me and it meant so much. I mean, after 35+ years together, there may seem like there are not many surprises left, but I could tell he was really proud of me. I have never been an athlete, never cared that I wasn't, but here I am doing something totally new and out of my comfort zone. Not only am I doing it, but I am achieving a measure of personal success at it as well.
I don't write about this to impress you, the reader. I write about it in the hopes that I may inspire you to try something you never thought you'd do, something out of your comfort zone. It need not be running; only you can decide what it should be. The point is, it can be ANYTHING you set your mind to do. We humans can adapt, change and grow if we take it just one step at a time and JUST DO T!!

Clean Windows

I saw a talk show this morning that said the number one easy thing you can do to make your house feel refreshed is to simply clean the windows. It got me thinking about what we do to make ourselves feel refreshed.
If you have plenty of time and money, vacation always sounds like a good way to get refreshed. However, have you ever come home from a trip and proclaimed that you need a vacation from the vacation?! Thinking on a smaller scale, I think I get refreshed on my morning runs. I mentally plan my day, enjoy the cool breeze and the way I can push my body to keep going. I get refreshed when I read a book and get lost in the story and the characters. I feel refreshed when I get my hair done once a month and I leave knowing, yes, red really is my hair color!
What refreshs you? Think small scale and realize that we have the ability to get refreshed more often than we allow ourselves. We are so busy looking for the big vacation, the big pay day, the big "thing", that we miss the small, golden moments that can refresh us if we just allow it. Vow today to refresh yourself in some small way...even if you have to wash the windows!

Memories

Last night, we met friends for dinner. They were in town and we had not seen them in ages. We were neighbors in Irvine 30 years ago. It was a wonderful 3 hours of reminiscing and laughing and catching up. What struck me during dinner was that memories of people can be varied. What I remember may not be what they remember. I don't mean that we remember the event differently, but WHAT stays in our brain may be some small thing. For example, I remember going over to their house for dinner one night and they served a wine called Gewurztraminer. It was, by my wine taste today, a VERY sweet wine. Back then, I loved it and felt terribly sophisticated drinking it. Over the years, whenever I would see a bottle of it in the store, I would think of our old neighbors. They didn't even recall that dinner, but remembered that we had also drank that wine on a trip we took together to Solvang. Each of us had our own memories; little events that remain with us over the years.
We were discussing memories in a book club I once belonged to and someone asked, "How do you know it's YOUR memory and not something your parents told you about or showed you old photos. You had seen the pictures so many times, you almost thought you DID remember the event, but were actually too young. One woman said she knew the memory was her own because of smells. A certain smell of cooking always reminded her of being in her grandmother's kitchen. She says the smell takes her right back to that place. Some felt the same way about a color. Their mother or grammie had a dress that color and it always made them think of them wearing it.
Memory is tenuous. As we age, we forget many things. Someone told me, what we start to forget is "noun retrieval" ~ person, place or thing. We know we know the name; we just can't quite grab it at the moment and say it. I have experienced this often. Frustrating! Some say they can remember a memory from 20 years ago better than what they ate for breakfast yesterday!
Wouldn't it be lovely if we could make a list of memories we wanted to keep forever and a list of those we want to forget forever? I would toss out the loud fights my parents had before their ugly divorce. I would toss out the unkind comments people have made that left me feeling worthless. I would toss recurring nightmares. I would keep forever the look my husband gave me at a high school party from across the room 39 years ago ~ a look that told me he adored me. I would keep forever the sound of my 3 grandchildren calling my name when I arrive. I would keep forever Maddy's demand for the departing ritual of "hug, kiss, lick".
Hopefully, as I get older, someone will read me this blog and I will be reminded what things mattered to me, that I mattered.

Spring

"No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow."
The time change has me thinking about longer days, spring followed by summer, etc. However, I think this quote speaks more to an outlook on life than the seasons. Are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? Do you think mostly good will happen or are you constantly waiting for the next bad thing to occur in your life?
Most people seem to lean one way or the other. That's not to say that it is all good or all bad. As I have said before, life is messy, but it also has some pretty great parts too. Can our outlook change the amount of good or bad we receive in our life? Probably not, and I don't think that is the point. I just finished an article in one of my running magazines and the topic was, "Act as if...". Act as if you will finish the race. Act as if you will win. Act as if you can keep going when it seems you cannot. Is this lying to yourself or is this positive imagery? Call it what you will, what if it works, or at the very least, helps us get through life's challenges? I have often given out a much more positive vibe than I have felt with clients. After all, I am in sales. I have to "act as if.." when I don't always feel it. This is really tough in a down economy and, yet, more necessary now than ever. People get plenty of doom and gloom by turning on the TV or reading the newspaper. I can't turn the economy around, but I can offer them a little sunshine and springtime. I just need to remember to save a little for myself and my family!

Holiday Cards

I love to make holiday cards. They always contain a photo and a silly saying ~ my trademark, I guess you could say. It started when our kids were young and I tortured the family every Christmas with my ideas. When the grand babies arrived, I realized I had an even better reason to make cards to share with my friends. I make cards for Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day and Easter. I have made dozens over the years, but this one still remains one of my favorites. Here's beautiful Maddy, about six months old, plopped in a giant planter. I love the look on her face, "Grammie, what are you making me do?!?!" I love her little, fat hands holding onto the sides of the pot.
Over the years, with the addition of Jack and Abbey, I find my ideas get harder and harder to execute. Capturing THREE busy, little bodies at once is not easy, if not impossible. They often don't share my enthusiasm for the creative ideas I dream up. I have resorted to taking individual pictures of them and making montage photo cards. The results are no less adorable and they remind me, once again, that plans must be flexible. I'm learning kids, I'm learning.

F.Y.I.

Someone who reads my blog told me that when she went to comment, you have to click twice to get it to post. The first time it says there is an error, but if you click again, it will add your comment. Just wanted to let readers know this. Maybe you wanted to comment and thought it didn't work. Either way, thanks for reading.