Small Things

                This world has been nothing short of tumultuous these past two years. It has divided families, ended friendships and left our country battered and bruised. At times, I hardly recognize the good old US of A. All this has left me, as well as many of you, feeling uneasy and anxious. I am a certified control freak and this makes me realize how little control I have of many things.

                When whatever I am feeling or doing seems too big, too scary, just too much, I have figured out a way to regain some of my calm. I do simple, ordinary things. I unload the dishwasher. I give the dog a bath. I straighten one drawer. Somehow these simple acts, that I can control, calms me and makes me feel a little less out of control and scattered. There is a lot to be said for small tasks like these. No, they don’t rid us of Covid or immediately return the world that once was, but they can make a small corner of my little world seem more tolerable. It makes me feel like I am still moving forward in this quest to find my peace and harmony. It reminds me that I can put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. I can see small results from my efforts and that pleases me. Eventually, a lot of small results turns into big results.

                And if all else fails, there’s always a glass of wine…even better if it’s shared with a friend!

Grow Old with Me

I've been seeing lots on social media about posting a side-by-side photo of your prom and wedding photos. The picture on the left is 50 years ago this year! The wedding photo on the right is three years later. Back then, they let children get married!! What were we thinking? We thought we knew everything and as time went on, we realized, we knew almost nothing! Here's the thing about being together since a young age. You either grow up together or you grow apart. When you get married and say "I do" that is the easy part. It's a day all about you with food and friends and dancing and presents. The hard part is saying "I do" when you need a new roof, one of the kids is throwing up all night, when money is tight, when you are just tired of the same old routine. Those are the "I dos" that really matter. It's the time when one stops trying and the other one tries for both of you for a while and then you look up and realize, you are both trying again. It's not always fun, definitely not always easy, but after growing up together, we look forward to growing old together!

I am Still Learning

Recently, I found myself in very unfamiliar territory. I was on the receiving end of people’s kind gestures and good wishes.  I am usually the GIVER. I send the cards. I drop off food. I give. I am not a good receiver. It makes me uncomfortable, actually. Through these last few weeks, I learned a powerful lesson. You may think the lesson is one of gratitude, which, of course, I AM grateful, but it goes beyond that to a lesson I’d like to share with others.

When something happens to a friend, such as a death in the family, an illness or any other stressful situation, DO NOT say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” “Do you need anything?” Let me tell you for certain, most people will not ask for anything. They will say they are fine. They will say they don’t need anything. The correct response, in my opinion, is JUST DO SOMETHING!!! Don’t wait to be asked because you may wait a long time, perhaps forever. The person, especially someone who is used to being the giver and doer, will probably NEVER ask for help. They may not even know they need help, but when the help arrives, unannounced, they will be eternally grateful. Help takes on many forms. It can be a meal prepared or store bought to be used when the recipient feels like it. It may be flowers, a card with a heartfelt message inside, a cozy blanket to wrap up in, indulgent snacks and trashy magazines or occasional texts or calls to touch base. What you do is not nearly as important as doing something! Again, don’t wait to be asked or told, JUST DO SOMETHING!! I can guarantee it will be appreciated and you will be a blessing in their life.

I said to my daughter last week, “How will I ever repay all these people?” She replied, “Mom, you don’t repay them. You pay it forward. You do something nice for someone else who needs it.” Ahhh, I have raised a wise daughter!

Even at my ripe old age, I am still learning! Thank goodness!