What's on Your Table?

After doing two funeral/receptions last week, I got to thinking about what people bring me to set up on the memorial table. I always encourage people to do one as I feel it brings a great deal of comfort to those in attendance.
There has been a interesting array of items on these tables over the years. It has ranged from tchotchke stuffed birds, a tea set, a doctor lab coat, a picture they painted and more. Of course, photos are a very big part of what people display. Many choose to share old photos of the deceased when they were young, graduated from high school, their wedding day, a cruise they took. People love pouring over these photos and take a great deal of delight when they find that they are in one or two of them. I guess it proves that they mattered in the life of their loved one who is gone.
So, what would be on my table? My daughter (the minimalist) would roll her eyes. Me (the collector) wonders, out of all the things I have collected over the years, what would I like to display on a six foot table that would represent the best and biggest parts of my life? Photos, for sure. They are everywhere in my house. Thank God someone else will have to pick which ones. Hopefully, they will be a mix of professional and posed to silly and fun captured moments. I would want some of the handmade Christmas cards I have made every year to be on display. I have collected pigs for decades and some are special. At least one or two should make the table. I'd like the copies of my blog books to be there and later given to my grandchildren to read so they know how much they mattered to me. I'd like the binder that holds every running bib from every race I have ever run (65 and counting). 
Actually, I am not sure what else. Isn't it funny that I have a house stuffed with things and yet have a difficult time deciding what really matters in the end to represent ME?? Did the people who brought me these bags filled with trinkets and photos from their loved one have a hard time choosing? Did they labor over wondering if they were doing the person's memory justice? Did they have a conversation with their loved one prior to their death asking them what they wanted on their memory table? A memory table may not rank up there with end of life measures and finances, but it does matter! I have witnessed people shed tears and embrace each other as they pour over these tables. They find comfort and even joy, in these tables. They remember.
Years from now, when my grandkids are adults, they may come across a ceramic pig somewhere and pause and turn to the person they are with and say, "My grammie used to collect pigs. They were all over her house."
What more can we ask for than to be remembered?
So, what's on YOUR table?

Redheads

 Found this yesterday and it just made me smile. I am sure it is quite true!

Do you have a redhead friend??

Love Lucille Ball, a totally original redhead who made us laugh for ages.

As we say in our house, "Blondes tease. Redheads please!"

He's been with me so long, we've been through three hair colors...four if you count gray!!!

Forty Years?? Really??

 "For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you."

 

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that today marks 40 years that we have bee married. That's 14,600 days being married. That's a long time! When I mention it to people, they are often impressed or touched and think it is so sweet. I usually scoff. Not because I am unhappy, but because, these forty years have held a lot of ups and downs, sadness and happiness, excitement and boredom, things we want to remember and things we want to forget.

I read on Facebook where people claim their spouse is their soul mate. I am not even sure what that word actually means, but I don't know if we'd call each other that, on Facebook or anywhere else. We are very different people. We have had very different interests over the past 40 years. We have annoyed each other and wondered why we were together. And yet we still are together.

You know those vows you say "yes" to on your wedding day? Well, guess what? They really happen throughout a marriage and you are forced to choose that other person, again and again. Let's see ~ better or worse? Yes, we've had those moments and some were pretty ugly. Richer or poorer? Yes, we've been both. Sickness and health? Yes, been through both of those also. To love and to cherish?  Wow, this one takes some thought because cherish is a very powerful word. Love comes in many forms, but cherish, now that's a deeper level of respect and admiration that I would not label many things in my life. I would say that my husband has cherished me throughout most of our marriage, even when I was pretty un-cherishable! Til death do us part? This one remains to be seen, but, so far, so good!

Marriage comes down to a whole lot of little things, not grand gestures. He fills your car with gas. You make sure his sock drawer is full of clean socks. You make dinner. He cleans up. It is knowing that getting through this life, tough as it may be at times, you have someone in your corner that you love, trust, and rely on, that will be there for you. They make the journey a little easier, a little more fun. What more can we ask for?

 

As Sara Bareilles sings:

"Tell the world we finally got it all right

I choose you

I become yours and you become mine

I choose you"

Happy Anniversary, honey! Looks like you are stuck with me!!

Time with My Friend

 

 My Texas friend was in town and we planned to have breakfast together. Then, inspiration hit and I suggested "an adventure" instead! We went to the best nail salon in the OC that my daughter discovered several years ago. They don't just paint your toes, they turn them into works of art! There are literally 1000s of designs from which to choose. It can be a bit overwhelming. My friend wasn't sure what to get and then I suggested the University of Texas "hook 'em horns" insignia. Boom! Perfect! Football season is about to start and they have season tickets. I think she'll be wearing open toed shoes to the first few games!!

I am her crazy friend who always has adventure ideas and pushes her to come along. She is my grounded, faith-filled friend who makes me think and be a little kinder. Time and distance does nothing to dampen our friendship.
What would we do without each other??

OC Fun (?) Run

Dear OC Fair 5K Runners/Director:
This year marks the fourth time I have run this race. Usually, no matter how difficult a race has been, I always have a feeling of exhilaration at the end. Not this time! This year, this "fun" race was nothing but frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I came in third in my age group out of 44 women, which is an accomplishment for me. I am a "late in life" runner and am happy to be able to run at all.
You proudly stated that this race started a few years ago with only a few hundred people and, today, it had over 2000 runners. Great for the sport. Great for the race director's pocket book. For some of us, who want to always do our best, it has become more frustrating that it's worth.
Every year, at every race, I hear the announcer ask people who are not five or six minute runners to MOVE BACK!! He explains it is for safety as well as courtesy. NOBODY LISTENS!! I am not very fast and I know where I belong in the race corral. This morning, two women, standing next to me, had this conversation. "What's our goal today?" "Well, I think we can do it in an hour and thirty minutes, don't you??" Let me state it again ~ they were standing NEXT to me!!! I later looked at the clock, at home, and realized I had run the race, got some water, walked to my car, drove through Starbucks and got a coffee and was home reading the paper and they were still running!!!! While I applaud anybody who gets out there and attempts to run/walk a race, this is ridiculous! Yes, run, but stay towards the back. It is chipped timed. That means, as they explain every time, you time is your time based upon when you start and when you finish. You are not penalized for being at the back of the pack.
There was a little kid next to me on a scooter today!! This is not only annoying, but it is dangerous!! Why would a responsible parent allow them to ride a scooter in a running race?
Now, strollers...there are many very fast runners who push a stroller. They often beat me, but there are also very casual runners who push strollers and start way up front. Many other runners end up dodging these huge strollers and it becomes a safety issue. It costs you time to get around them. That actually matters to some of us. Strollers, no matter what or who, belong in the back with a taped off area that only allows them to be there for the start. If people cannot police themselves, which obviously they can't, then the race director needs to do it.
Perhaps these thoughts will cause a backlash from people who think every race is for everybody. I, too, think races can be for everyone, but, in an age when common courtesy and common sense are in short supply, race directors and promoters must do a better job of making them a fun experience for the runner interested in bettering performance and their time, not just the casual runner who pays the fee.
The one good thing that came out of todays race is that I have decided, after 28 5Ks, to never run a 5K again. I will stick to 10Ks and half marathons. At my age and speed, I will never end up in the top of my age group, but, perhaps I will not feel the frustration I felt this morning.
Congrats to all the "runners" this morning. You were all lapping the people still sitting on their sofa eating a jelly donut!

 

DWBH

I like this.
I have a hard time remembering this.
I am working on it.
Happy is just better. Don't you think?