A Good Day

What constitutes a good day for you? While I was running this afternoon, I thought about this question. Feeling happy to be outside, running six miles, I felt like I could say it was a good day. Isn't it funny how one, little thing can make or break your day? Rushing out the door later than you wanted to, can set a bad tone for the whole day. Someone you encounter in the day may say something unkind and it sticks with you, definitely souring your mood and the day. You spill your venti latte on your blouse and it leaves a stain. Now, none of these things are big; they are merely annoyances. Some we are able to shake off easily and some we don't.
Tomorrow, December 1st, is "Pay It Forward" Day. All it means is to do something kind for someone you encounter. A simple, random act of kindness can make all the difference in turning some one's day from bad to good. You may not know it changes their day, but who cares? Do it anyways. Now and then, I pay for the coffee of the person who is behind me in the Starbucks drive-thru. I love driving away knowing that in a few seconds they will find out that some stranger bought their coffee today. I smile for a long time afterwards thinking about it. Whether I made their day good or not, I sure made mine good. So simple and easy and yet so effective...for both of us.

The Hunt

The words Black Friday get a reaction from most people. Either you want nothing to do with it and think people who venture out are crazy or you wake up Thanksgiving morning racing for the paper to peruse all the ads and map out your plan for shopping. My daughter and I have been Black Fridaying it for about five years. Each year has its own crazy stories and fun. This year, we left the house at 7pm and shopped the stores that were open on Thanksgiving while waiting for the midnight, 3am and 4am openings of others. We drove around a lot and had more laughs than I can count.

Those of you who tell me you can do all your Black Friday shopping online, while still in your jammies, are missing the point. I have a masters degree in online shopping with a minor in free shipping and discount coupons. You are only looking at the finish line, not the race itself. We decided it is not really the prices that draw us out among the masses, but the hunt itself. Amber will tell the story of how Kohl's didn't get in the supply of Barbies that were in the ad. There were only two in the entire store and we got both of them! Score! Yes, they were $17.99 originally and we only paid $5.99 each, unarguably a great price. However, in reality, we could afford to pay $17.99 if we had to, but somehow, that Barbie looks SO much more awesome knowing we got the only two for such a deal. See? It's the hunt.
I risked life and limb to get a couple of crock pots at Walmart for $2.97 each. Everywhere had crock pots in their ads and they were all around $8.00. Could I afford to pay that price? Yes, and it's probably a good deal at $8.00, but waiting until a minute before midnight and watching people racing to grab them off the shelf just as they ripped the black shrink wrap off of the pile is a memory I will have for many Christmases to come. It's the hunt.
I have a lot of admiration for the people who are after the electronics, TVs, computers, etc. These are usually offered in very limited quantities, but at fantastic savings. As I watch people leaving the store with their great electronics find, I always hope they are putting it to good use and not turning around and selling it on Ebay for a profit. I want to believe they are donating the computer to a child that otherwise wouldn't have one. I hope they have had the same TV for 15 years and are so excited to bring home that flat screen for their family to enjoy. Amber says Black Friday electronics are the "Holy Grail" of scores. As much as I enjoy the Black Friday craziness, I don't think I want anything enough to wait outside in a line in the cold for two days.

Whether you think we are crazy or not, the one thing I can say is that sitting in front of your computer shopping couldn't possibly be as memorable as driving around with your daughter in the middle of the night plotting our next score! It's the hunt.

Counting Sheep

There was a song I heard on the radio today that said, "When I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep." It seems only fitting that it has stuck in my head all day when it is almost Thanksgiving ~ a day of counting blessings.
Funny thing about counting your blessings, while you are doing it, there is no room for worry or anxiousness. Why is it so hard to keep that at the forefront of our mind? The negative tapes play so much louder and automatically. We beat ourselves up for what we are not, rather than pat ourselves on the back for what we are. Complimenting others is easy. Complimenting ourselves seems almost outrageous! Well, here goes...I am organized, dependable and generous. Whew! That felt funny! You should try it. It might feel better the more we do it. Let your light shine, not only to others, but to yourself as well.
When we count our blessings, let's count ourselves as one.
Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Holiday Project

A while back, my girlfriend said she saw these cool garlands at a boutique. They were made from a strand of lights and fabric. I never saw it, but from her description, I decided to try and create one. It was difficult to get a good photo depicting how it turned out. Hopefully, you get the idea. I started with a 9 foot strand of lites that I bought from Lowe's for $1.88! I then bought 1/3 of a yard of 4 different fabrics, all on sale at Joann's. You could make this any way you wanted with either patterned or solid color fabrics. I cut a tiny bit of fabric about 1" in width then ripped it from that point as I wanted a "shabby chic" look to the garland. There are probably many ways to tie or knot the fabric around the lite stand. You should experiment with what you like best. I was worried that I would run out of fabric and it came close. After experimenting, I found that you make 7 or 8 fabric ties between each light. You can figure out from there how much fabric you will need. The light strands come in many different lengths. Again, you can pick what will work best for where you plan to display it.

These can be made for any holiday or even, just to match some one's decor. I told a friend about it and she decided to make one for a baby shower as she thought it would act as a night light in the room as well as a decoration.

It was the perfect project for a cold, windy, rainy afternoon. It didn't take very long and it was easy and fun.

P.S. These sold for $25 - $30 at the boutique and my total cost was about $8!!

Imperfectly Perfect

As we are about to embark on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have been thinking about what makes the holidays so magical. People spend a lot of time, energy and money trying to achieve the "perfect" holiday. We work hard to buy the "perfect" gift for someone we love. We spend countless hours preparing the "perfect" meal. We run around attending or hosting the "perfect" party that will, hopefully, be talked about for months to come. I am here to report to you, the point of all of it isn't perfection at all! This is a hard statement from a person who considers herself a die hard perfectionist.
When asked about their fondest holiday memories, people don't recall the matching paper on all the presents under the tree. They remember the year the tree fell over! They don't recall the year the meal was perfect and the table looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. They recall the year that the sweet potatoes were over laden with chipotle peppers and no one could eat more than one bite! The don't remember the darling family Christmas cards you pain stakingly made and sent out to 100+ friends each year. They recall the year they had to hold lit candles in the photo and almost set some one's hair on fire!
Truth be told, the point of the holidays is not perfection at all. Food gets eaten, cards get tossed in the trash and presents, once desired, become too small or outdated. All these are fleeting joys at best. Lasting joys are the magical, imperfect moments that stay with us in our memory long after the day itself. Recalling these moments, with a smile on our face, is perfection!
I am grateful for imperfect holidays.

1 in 5

A study was revealed today that 1 in 5 Americans are mentally ill. They define mental illness as from severely depressed to suicide attempts. We live in a pressure cooker society more than ever, what with the current state of the economy, etc, but 1 in 5?? This means when you go out for dinner with two other couples, someone at the table falls within this category of mental illness. I know I am using a silly analogy, but I still cannot believe it is so high. Are most of us that good at masking how we really feel? Can we fake it in front of people around us so that they would never guess how truly anguished we feel? Am I not noticing someone I care about who is suffering in silence with this heavy burden? I can't stop thinking about this study and its implications. I know I have been depressed at times in my life, not completely hopeless, but definitely not want to get out of bed depressed. Was I mentally ill at that moment? How did I snap out of it? Can you help someone else snap out of it or can they only do it for themselves? Telling someone, "It's not that bad. It'll get better. Buck up.", really doesn't do any good. I have found that when people are sad, listening is the most powerful medicine. You don't need to have an answer for their problems, because, in reality, you probably don't have the answer. Just listen. It could make all the difference.
I am grateful for only being a little crazy!

Humor

"Every survival kit should include a sense of humor."
In this journey down the road of life, it seems to me, having a sense of humor is not only important, it is vital to your survival. We all know life can be challenging and difficult. Situations present themselves daily that can be so frustrating, you can almost cry...or you can laugh. Laughing is a salve for almost anything. Not that it fixes the problem, but it helps you get through the initial sting. I love to make people laugh and I am drawn to people who make me laugh. I don't mean joke tellers; that can be annoying. I mean people who can come up with the snappy one-liner that instantly turns your mood around. Finding the humor in situations, much like finding the good, can help us see it's not so bad. Or, it is bad, but it could be worse! Try a little humor on ~ one size fits all.
I am thankful for humor.

Small Things

Throughout any given day, we experience many things that don't go our way, annoy us or somehow just don't turn out as we'd like. Some days, finding even a little gratitude in our heart seems impossible. For me, I often set the bar of my expectations so high, I am asking for disappointment.
I just finished reading one man's list of ten things he is grateful for and, to my surprise, they were pretty small things. He listed things like, "Be grateful you are sitting in traffic because it means you have a car and a way to get where you need to go." Now that puts quite a different spin on a very unpleasant situation. After all, nobody likes to be stuck in traffic. It can be very frustrating. His take on it, however, reminds me, once again, about perspective. He also listed that he was grateful for getting old. After all, it means he is still alive and able to experience life. He chose to discount the wrinkles and aches and pains and be happy he was still here to feel at all. We really do have the ability to see each situation how we want to see it. Even if the positive, grateful side is not the first way we see it, we can adjust our attitude and still find some good. It takes practice.
Next time I am stuck in traffic, I am going to remember this. The wrinkles may take a little longer to be grateful for, however!
I am grateful for small things.

Family/Friends

Family is supposed to be the best thing that ever happens to you. People who know you forever, who accept your craziness and still love you. In many cases, this is far from the truth. Family hurts you deeper than others because they know the hot buttons to push. Sometimes friends can be like family to you. Tonight, we spent a lovely evening with old friends that we have not seen in a long time, a really long time! Circumstances caused us to be estranged for almost six years. Tonight we sat and ate and drank and laughed together. My heart felt full of love and happiness that we had reconnected. There was still a lot to say to each other. There was still a lot of love in the room. They smiled at the antics of my crazy grand children and that made me love them even more. It was a good night. It was a golden moment ~ did everyone in the room feel it? I hope they didn't miss it.
I am grateful for friends who make the effort to reconnect.

Brother-in-Law

Over the 35 years I have been married, I would have to say that my brother-in-law and I have not been particularly close. I would even say we didn't much like each other for a few years in there, but I am writing this to say, I think he and I are more alike than I ever stopped to realize. He has been helping my husband on the weekends with the guest house we are building for my mother-in-law. I would venture a guess to say, he is really having fun helping and watching the structure go from concept to reality. He and I have had some time to talk, discuss ideas and suggestions for the house. He has expressed his concern over this decision to have my mother-in-law so close to us and I really appreciate that he's even thought about it. He wants what is best for his mom, sure, but he doesn't want it at the price of my relationship with my husband. I am touched that he has even considered this aspect. It makes me like him more than ever. How can we not like someone who cares about our well being? I think the key to a great life is surrounding ourselves with people who truly care about our well being and we theirs. It makes it all worthwhile.
I an thankful for my brother-in-law.
P.S. Kevin, I hope you don't need to be resuscitated after reading this!!!

Grade "A" Grammie

Hopefully, we give and receive many compliments, but I think the best one is what the little boy is saying to his grammie in this cartoon. Just like with parenting, we are not given a rule book for being a grammie. It's on the job training, for sure. Yes, you can reach back into your memory of things you did with your own children, but somehow it is different. You learn early on, all your grand children are different with their own unique personality. The one thing I have found that they all have in common, however, is that, most of all, they just want you to stop, look at them and listen to what they have to say. You can almost see them blossom right before your eyes when you do.
My only question is, why do all grammies have to be portrayed as gray-haired and bespeckled?!
I am thankful I look like a modern grammie, or as Maddy calls me "Gram Girl"!

My Babies

Anyone who has been a mother knows the extremes you feel about your children ~ they can be the most frustrating, demanding little creatures that seem to suck the life right out you. They can also be the single most profound source of joy you will ever know in your life, only to be dethroned by your grandchildren!
This photo is circa 1982, Amber was two and a half and Tyler was nine months. The color has faded as are so many pictures that are 28 years old. We can be thankful for the digital and advanced technology that we have today. These pictures were taken at the only place you could get photos done back then, Kinderfoto. You had to wait two to three weeks to get them back and you never knew if you had a picture worth printing or not.
My son and daughter are very different and we learned early on, what worked as a discipline style for one did not necessarily work on the other. As I told them many times when they were growing up, "Look, I am writing this book as I go. I don't know what I am doing and I am just trying to do the best I can." Often, it didn't seem enough, or right, but it was the best I could do. I watch my daughter, now a mother of three, work through many of the same struggles I had. It is not easy.
If all this is true, why does generation after generation continue to have children? It is a hard, consuming job and yet, when I look at this picture and see their beautiful, cherub faces, my heart still pulls in my chest. Good, bad, right, wrong, they are still my babies even as they are adults with their own lives and challenges. The band aid I used to fix a scraped knee won't do the trick any more. They must make their own way in this world, and mostly, I get to watch from the sidelines with my fingers crossed behind my back and a silent prayer for them in my heart.
I am thankful for my children.

Perceived Value

Take a look at these two pictures. One is of a load of lumber and the other is of a saucy dress advertised at Nordstrom. At first glance, it would appear they have nothing in common. Actually, they do have something in common ~ the price. The load of lumber cost $2000 and so does the dress. Now, I have never spent $2000 on one dress, but I think it seems like a lot more fun than the load of lumber. I guess the value is in the eye of the beholder. The lumber represents a small part of the ongoing project that will be the guest house in our backyard. There is no doubt that it will be standing long after the dress is out of style. What makes something worth its value? Perceived value is what one thinks something is worth and does not necessarily have anything to do with the actual value. We hold a higher value to what is important to us. In intangibles, some may say that trust is more valuable than respect, or kindness is more valuable than intelligence. Each of us defines it differently.

I have always told my children that you can take an small gift and wrap it beautifully and it becomes even more special to the receiver. The value is raised by its presentation. It means you took the time to make it special even before it is opened ~ perceived value. Which makes me wonder, couldn't they, at least, have wrapped the lumber in a pretty, red bow??

I am grateful for lumber.

Work/Play

Running headlong into the busy holidays makes me ask the question ~ Do we need to work more or play more? Each of us must answer this question for ourselves. At times, we get stuck and think we need to buckle down, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, etc. etc. This sounds like an admonishment for not working hard enough. While it could be that, maybe when we find ourselves the most "stuck", we need to play a little more and work a little less. I consider myself a high achieving perfectionist who is hard on herself. Always in the back of my mind is the little voice saying "do more, make more money, create more, what's next on the list?" Rarely do I have down time and, frankly, I feel guilty when I do have some. I am not a good relaxer. This is not a gift, but a curse. Oh, I do gets lots of things done in any given day, but at what price? When my head is spinning with too may thoughts at once, sometimes instead of accomplishing a lot, I just go in circles and actually accomplish very little. Peacefulness and quietness are gifts I'd like to have along with the drive and motivation I already possess.
I will be thankful for quiet.

Perspective

This sign has been hanging outside our house for the last ten Thanksgivings. It always makes me laugh when I put it out. It also makes me pause to realize that any situation, even that of the turkey, has two perspectives. We are all excited and anticipating the feast we will be enjoying in a few weeks, whereas, if the turkey could talk, he'd probably be showing a great deal less enthusiasm for November 25th. Same day, same event, much different feelings.
This holds true for so much of life and how we see it. One man's trash is another man's treasure, as they say. Sometimes seeing the good can feel like looking through a thick, foggy morning. We know it must be there, we just can't quite see it. I read the other day that we live in "a culture of complaint". Doesn't that sound awful?? I know I am guilty myself of seeing the dust on the counter rather than the rose in the vase.
As we begin this holiday season, I promise myself to complain a little less and enjoy a little more. If some days I fail, I will try again the next day.
I am thankful I am not a turkey!

Unchanging

In this world of texting, video games, and DVR recorders, I take delight in the fact that another generation of modern kids can still get excited about turning their hand into a turkey for Thanksgiving with a little paint. Maddy saw one I hang every year that was done by my son in 1985 (Yes, it is 25 years old and looks it!). She insisted on making one for herself. I must admit, we had a fun time doing it and she was quite proud of the end result. Once again, her joy is my joy.
I am grateful for simple pleasures, passed down through the generations.

Health

Running this past year and a half has made me aware of my body aches more than ever. I am very careful and watchful to see if my back is screaming at me or I need to slow down and take a break. As my dear husband reminds me, I am not a world class athlete nor a 20-something.
Overall, I am a very hearty and healthy person. I can count on one hand my trips to the hospital and most of those were to have a baby. I don't know why I have won the health lottery so far, but it seems that I have. Why do some people enjoy good health and others are constantly suffering from one ailment or another? I have always said I am too busy to be sick. If only it were that simple, I would gladly stay very busy to avoid any major health issues. However, we all know this is not the case. Genetics and lifestyle play an important part in our health, but beyond that, it can come down to just plain, dumb luck. The key is being thankful on the days that we put our feet on the floor and feel fine. We humans tend to ignore what is right under our nose and take it for granted. It is only on the morning that we wake up feeling awful do we notice our health at all. Shame on us.
I am grateful for health.

Rule #6

The kids love to go to Burger King, get lunch and then play on the outdoor play structure. We have perfected this plan by first going to Panera Bread and buying food that we adults actually want to consume. We then take it over to BK and enjoy it while they play. The last two times we have been there, I have noticed the sign on the outside of the play structure that gives you all the rules. They seem pretty normal (remove shoes, may be hot in the sun, etc) until you get to #6. It says, "If you see anything weird, tell the manager." I laugh out loud every time I read it. This rule can be interpreted in SO many ways. What is weird? It is some guy hanging out there that didn't bring any kids? Is it a kid with a bad rash? What defines weird in this day and age? Does Burger King have a different standard of weird than the rest of us? If you don't know exactly what they mean, how will you know to report it to the manager? I often think my husband (Pa) acts weird. Should I report him?!
Maybe we should go back to McDonalds!
I am thankful for signs that make me laugh.

Imperfect Me

Recently, I read someone else's blog and I was appalled by what I read. It seems this person thinks so highly of herself that she gives you tips to "be just like her"!!! She may not come right out and say it that way, but, believe me, that is exactly what she is intimating. I am here to tell you now, dear reader, I hope I have never suggested anyone be like me. Why would anyone want to be like someone else? We all struggle with self doubt and insecurities. I find it more enriching to be around people who know they are flawed and, yet, work daily at being better or more enlightened. When we share thoughts and ideas, we come away with a new perspective that can add to our life's journey.
I had originally titled this entry "Imperfect You" and decided to change it. I have no right to label anyone with that title, so I changed it to "Imperfect Me". Now that is something I can claim and own. I stand before you with all my bumps, warts and imperfections. I don't want anyone to be like me. I challenge you to strive to be the best YOU, you can be, bumps, warts and imperfections included!
I am grateful for me...work in progress.

Define Peace

Too often, I think people spend a large part of their lives seeking what they think is happiness. During this constant hunt, they miss the possible contentment that may be standing right in front of them. What a sad mistake. Perhaps, rather than saying we want to "be happy", maybe we need to seek peace instead. Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. Rather, it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your
heart. I am not saying achieving peace is easy, I just think it may be a more realistic goal. It is one I am working on daily.
I am thankful.

Attitude of Gratitude

November brings thoughts of great meals, family gatherings and holiday hustle. For many, families are far flung and this is a rare time to sit down together at Thanksgiving and share both food and thoughts. We are lucky enough to be a family that shares a meal most every night of the week together. This is a double edged sword. When you do something regularly, it loses some of its magic and specialness. It becomes the norm and you really don't give it much thought. It can become another "have to" in your day. I am the one planning the menus, shopping for ingredients and cooking the dinners. All of this is far from special or exciting. What I must remind myself is that, in each of these meals, we all take away a little more than just nourishment for our bodies. We listen to each other, share our day, both good and bad. With little ones, sometimes the sharing takes on a noise level that makes you wince from its volume, but we must remember they are just like us, they just want to be heard.
I am grateful.