Here They Grow

Lately, it seems that there are more and more signs that my "babies" are not babies any more. Sure, the easy changes to spot are no more diapers or toddler beds. What is nagging me more are the other, more subtle changes I am starting to see.
Last week, Maddy said to me, "Hey, Gram Girl! I need to tell you something." First of all, I have no idea where she got "Gram Girl". Then she proceeded to tell me a story complete with her opinions about it. Wow! I had a glimpse of her a few, short years down the road as she runs out the door to be with her friends. They run away from us for many more years than they run towards us. I need to remind myself that listening intently to a her stories, sitting at the table to color with her, or putting together the same puzzle for the umpteenth time, is a blessing and not a burden; a blessing that hopefully both of us remember for a very long time.

What do You Think About?

I am often asked, what do you think about when you run? Now that I am running 6, 8, 10 miles, I am out there a good long time. Sometimes I strap on the iPod and listen to music, but mostly I just run and think and run and think. If it's an early morning run, I mentally lay out my day ~ errands, clients, phone calls, etc. It is a good way for me to review what needs to be done.
I also talk to myself with silly motivational things. "I get to run this morning." "I am awesome." "I can do this." I have always said that for some reason, we humans let the negative tapes run louder and longer than the positive ones. I am guilty of this myself during the day, but when I run, I try and only say positive things to myself. Believe it or not, it actually helps get me through it. I am not a trained runner or an athlete of any kind. I have to rely on my sheer will to go another mile when I really don't want to run any more. I try and remind myself how I feel, both mentally and physically, afterwards. It works! Now, if I could only apply this philosophy to the rest of my life!

Expectations

Is life complicated or are WE complicated? It seems that there are many daily challenges for everyone. They come in many forms: families, friends, jobs and more. We are not supposed to have expectations of others. My husbands says I am often guilty of expecting too much from those around me. I retort that I only expect what I am willing to give. Unfortunately, my level of giving and theirs may be quite different. Hence, disappointing expectations abound. Again, my fault.
How do you have a long term relationship with someone and NOT have expectations? What spouse doesn't have expectations of the other? (honesty, faithfulness, support )Who doesn't have expectations for their children? (happy, hard working, productive citizens) Who doesn't have expectations for a friend? (compassion, truthfulness, availability) These all seem so basic and not too much to ask (or expect), so why do we often feel people fall short of our expectations? How often do we fall short of other's expectations? How do we stop expecting and just take what others give?
Today I have lots of questions and no answers.

Shopping

When I found this cartoon in the morning paper, I had to laugh. I have a great husband, but he doesn't often go to the market by himself. Every week, I plan the menus for each day and then make a market list based upon those meals. Sometimes he comes along with me to be, as he calls it, "the guy who pushes the cart". On the rare occasion that I send him alone, heaven only knows what he brings home! Not only does he have a hard time getting exactly what I wanted, it's the extra things he picks up along the way! I figure, when he shops, there is a 20% increase in the food budget!! It's like taking one of the grand kids with me. My daughter claims the same is true for her husband. Oh, he finds these awesome gourmet cheeses, but they cost a fortune! Perhaps it is another basic, fundamental difference between men and women. Food shopping is just another task we women have to do week in and week out; just get it done. Men, on the other hand, don't go to the market as often and see it as almost an adventure; what treasures can I uncover this time? I call them treasures, because what they find usually cost a fortune!
As much as I don't love grocery shopping, I think I better keep doing it. Besides, he's really good at doing dishes and that doesn't cost me anything.

Simple Pleasures

What can be better after dinner on a June evening than ice cream? As you can see, these three darlings enjoyed every bite! Our joy was in watching them eat it up. I am, once again, reminded to stop and appreciate the simple moments, in ordinary time, that really are the "golden moments" of our life. They will grow up (faster than I care to realize) and will eat ice cream without messing up their entire face. Thank goodness these pictures are embedded on my heart!

What Do You See?

Found this in the book I am reading..."She was the most familiar person in the world to him and therefore had always been that much harder to see." This gave me pause to consider how we stop really seeing each other after a while. We rush about our day, our to do lists, our constant busyness and forget to see those around us. I am totally guilty of this myself. What is so familiar almost becomes invisible to us. No wonder people claim, "You just don't see me anymore!" The distance between two people, sitting right next to each other on the couch, can be miles. It doesn't happen overnight, but erodes slowly away. Can we ever turn back the clock and really see each other again? Do we want to? Will we like what we see? Will they? Harsh realities...

Adventure Day

Saturday, June 12th, was deemed Adventure Day. Maddy, Jack & I went to the Amtrak station in Santa Ana and rode the train to San Juan Capistrano. There we went to Ruby's for breakfast, followed by Zoomar's Petting Zoo and Pony Rides. You can tell from the smiles on their faces, we had a blast. Amber & Abbey were supposed to join us, but Abbey broke her collar bone on Wednesday night. It has been another rough patch for the Svoboda/Riley clan. I guess this is the lesson of life....some joy and fun interspersed with some sadness and challenges. The good part is, we get to be there for each other through both.

Suffering

"Have patience and endure; this unhappiness will one day be beneficial."
As I sit with Abbey and watch the pain of her broken collar bone cause her to cry out, I cannot believe that this quote is true. The unhappiness we all feel for this tiny two year old angel and the pain she must be feeling, causes us to feel physical pain ourselves. What mother ( or grandmother) would not gladly take the place of a suffering child? How do you explain it will get better and not always feel like this?
Logically, I know that young bones mend quickly. Emotionally, I find myself fighting back tears most of the day lately. Often I lose the battle and they spill over. I am confronted with the how much energy it takes to fight back tears. It gives me a dull headache; small pain compared to Abbey's.
Get well soon, my precious little one!

Warning! Warning!

Warning! This is what happens when you leave your camera around where little hands can get to it!! They take alien pictures that are scary and shocking! We are still trying to figure out who the culprit is who took this close up. Who's nostrils are these?!?! An investigation is ongoing. Measuring nostrils is not an easy task! These little creatures don't stay still long enough to get an accurate reading.

All I know is it made me laugh out loud when I saw it. And you know how I feel about that, make me laugh and you are on the top of my list! Simple pleasures!

Vacation Glow

In a magazine article I read over the weekend, it said to reap the biggest payoff from your summer vacation, choose the option of taking a bunch of short trips over one long getaway. A study found that you get pleasure from anticipating a vacation, not just taking one.
I have always said that I need "something to look forward to". It doesn't have to be big, just something. Very seldom do we have a weekend with nothing on the calendar so it makes for a nice rest, but if I have a steady diet of nothing on the calendar, I fall into a funk.
Planning the vacation has always been part of the fun for me. Being a "planner" by nature, this allows me to makes lists, plan clothes to take, things to see, food to eat. I have always said that the vacation itself is so fleeting and goes by so fast, the anticipation before and the memories afterwards, are almost as good as the vacation itself. How many times have I looked through the photo books of a trip with the little ones, talking about what we did, where we went and fun things that happened to us? They, too, feel the excitement all over when we see the pictures. When we are finished looking at the photos, the inevitable question is, "When are we going again, Grammie?"
As June begins and marks the start of summer, I see our vacation calendar holds lots of little trips this year instead of one big one. Some are hotel bound and some are camping in tents. Some are the whole family and some are grown ups only. Each holds a feeling of excitement and promise of more memories to be made. Ahhh, the anticipation of it all!

Happy Weekend!

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million."
This picture of Abbey makes me laugh every time I come across it. Who needs clothes when the swing set awaits?! These busy, loud little creatures force us to stop and notice the moment. They constantly remind us to enjoy the day and each other as much as possible.
It is supposed to be almost 90 degrees this weekend. I hope to have plenty of pool time with my favorite "little fish". Bathing suits optional!

Wedded Bliss

Reading the paper this morning, I came across an anniversary announcement that said, "50 years of wedded bliss". Seriously, who talks like that and is there such a thing as "wedded bliss"??
Now, don't get me wrong, I think I have a pretty good marriage of almost 35 years, but bliss?? Marriage is hard work and the work is ongoing. Some weeks (years), it is easier than others, but for two, very different people to co-habitate, it takes compromise, disagreeing, and biting your tongue. I love my husband, but I'd like to leave him on the curb some Wednesdays for the trash man (and him me, no doubt!). One of my theories of marriage is that the very thing that attracted you (he made you laugh) is the very thing that repels you later (be serious, will you!!).
Many choose to give up this work called marriage and try another person on for fit. I say there is a flaw in that idea. People are people with basic needs and shortcomings. Eventually, who we are, warts and tics and all, will rear their head even with someone new. Deciding to figure out how to live with the person that made your heart beat faster long ago is easier than trading him for a new model. Besides, isn't bliss some ice cream made by Dove bars?!?!

Grown Up

Seen on a bumper sticker this morning: "Being grown up is overrated!"
Boy, isn't that the truth!! I used to constantly tell my teenagers that being a grown up wasn't what they hoped it would be. That's when they would roll their eyes at me and give me the look that silently said, "God, she is so dumb!!"
Now that they are both entrenched in this lovely journey called adulthood, they see what I meant. When we're young, we long for a time when there won't be people telling us what to do. We think that is when we're 18, when we're out of school, when we're on our own and in our own place. HA! Guess what?? There is always someone telling us what to do ~ a boss, a spouse, a well meaning friend, laws and rules. It never stops.
Being grown up means having to make the tough decisions ~ pay the electric bill or buy a new outfit; which preschool will be best for my kids; what should we have for dinner tonight; which kid needs my attention now; what is that strange noise the car is making...and on and on and on! The very thing we longed for as youth, our membership into adulthood, has arrived and is like a heavy anvil on our shoulders sometimes. It weighs us down. It makes us weary. We would like to turn in our membership card and not renew it for next year! No such luck, I'm afraid. You're in for life. We may as well try and make the best of it. I am striving for a life lived rather than just endured.