Son-in-Law

I have always said, when it comes to your kids you cannot write the script for them. Never has this been more true as when they get married. The one you love (daughter) chooses the one she loves, and the rest is up to you and that person. For me, I got really lucky and/or blessed with my son-in-law.
He and I see eye to eye on many things. Our parenting styles are very similar. We are the ones who "run a tight ship", while my daughter and my husband tend to let the "monkeys run the zoo" as I say. We became running buddies last year and I think that activity and shared interest cemented our already tight bond. He loves that I cook as his wife detests cooking. He never fails to say thank you for dinner. We bounce business ideas off each other and really listen to the other's suggestions. We both appreciate a raunchy joke, especially when it annoys Amber, which makes it all the more fun for us! That being said, it is not always rosy. I probably butt in more than I should because we are around so much. Plant my son-in-law in front of a TV, especially with a sporting event on, and I am pretty sure he wouldn't notice if the house was on fire! Sometimes you have to remind him many times over to take care of something. We are all human with our strengths as well as our weaknesses. The trick is to appreciate the strengths and overlook some of the weaknesses. Acceptance is really a gift. Sean & I accept each other. We didn't actually pick each other, but we share a common love for someone dear to us. Now, years later, we share that love with three other little creatures as well.
Out of all the things we talk about, I don't think I tell him that I appreciate how much he loves his wife and children. Well, I do, and I am thankful he is in our lives.

Plan "B"

I am an organized person. I make lists. I make plans. This is how I like to run my life (and if you ask my husband, everybody else's life as well!!) More often than not, things don't go as planned. Today was one of those days. Today I stopped everything and held a sweet two year old granddaughter with a 102 degree temperature. She did not want to be put down. She wanted to hold my hand. She wanted me to gently rub her head. She dozed in my arms. I got nothing else done, but, actually, I got the most important thing done. I forgot all the other junk that fills my life and I was 100% there for her. I forgot about my plan for the day and I shifted to Plan "B". Her needs were my Plan "B". When she is grown, I doubt she will ever remember this day. As for me, I will never forget it! I thank God for what these children have to teach me. I only hope I am a good student.

Problems

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."

Who among us has a problem free life? Nobody!! The truth is, things happen. Garage doors get broken, we have a flat tire, the check we were expecting doesn't come in the mail, we get a cold & the house needs painting. The list is endless. Although we know logically that everyone has problems, when we are knee deep in our own, it can feel very isolating and overwhelming. We feel like the only person floating in the boat.
Nobody gets out of this life without bumps and bruises. I am amazed at some people I know who happen to be kind and giving and, yet, they seem to be faced with a multitude of problems. Their true beauty is watching the grace with which they shoulder these problems. I admire and respect them more than words can say. I try and learn from their ability to weather these storms in their life and come out at the other end.
Whatever problems you are faced with today, as you read this, I hope and pray that you will be able to see past it and keep on going. Funny thing is, what we look for, we usually find. Look for sadness and the world shows you tons of sadness. Look for joy and, guess what, the world shows you tons of joy. If you think I'm wrong, keep looking!

Rare Moment

I don't know about you, but I usually hate every picture of me that is taken. Last week, I had photos taken for my new business and website (check it out at www.thedayyourway.com). The photographer is Lam Huynh ~ Seen by Lam. Her work is amazing. She really has an eye for capturing people looking relaxed and happy. I asked her to use the lens that makes you look thinner and younger! When she sent me this picture, along with others, I was so surprised that I didn't hate it! In fact, I might even say I liked it! It didn't hurt that before the pictures were taken, I had my hair done by Nancy Rees. That is called stacking the deck - hair and photo by professionals. No wonder the movie stars always look perfect in photos. They have had people pampering them for hours ahead of time.
Amber, my daughter, says I am the historian of the family because I am always the one taking the pictures and capturing the events in our family. Truth be told, I like it behind the camera. I rarely end up in a photograph and I don't have to agonize about my hair or anything else looks. I guess that's why this time, I had to share this one with you. I'm keeping a copy in my desk drawer and when I have a bad day, I'm going to pull it out and remind myself that I clean up good!

Too Much Stuff

I looked around my house this week and decided I have TOO MUCH STUFF! When is it enough? Now, don't get me wrong, I love nice things. My husband and I have worked hard to buy the lovely things we have. I am very attached to some of my "stuff". We joke that we can't downsize and move because where would I keep all my holiday decorations alone?! I don't mean just Christmas; I decorate for EVERY holiday and have bins labeled and filled for each holiday.
I recall one Christmas, years ago, when I declared I only wanted gifts that did not need to be dusted! It was one of the best Christmases ever! I received gift cards to restaurants, bottles of wine, spa gift certificates, bubble bath, etc. Nothing to dust!!
Tonight, I am going to a play with my dearest friend because last Christmas we decided that neither of us needed any more "stuff" so we gave each other tickets to two plays this year. Having an experience, especially together, is a much better than more "stuff". Creating memories is the "stuff" I want as I get older. BBQing on Sunday nights with my son-in-law, getting my toes done with my daughter, meaningful conversation over a cup of coffee with a friend, these are the "stuff" I want. I am planning on giving my friends great gifts this year...and nothing to dust!

Another Men Vs. Women

I found this old cartoon that I have been saving for probably 20 years. It still makes me smile when I read it. It also makes me stop and wonder why it would never be a picture of two boys in the picture.
We women have made ourselves crazy for decades trying to be eternally thin and young and beautiful. Where we look in the mirror and see every flaw, men look in the mirror, never seeing the paunch, grey hairs and wrinkles and proclaim, "Dang! I look pretty good!" Men and women find themselves on opposite extremes. Maybe somewhere in the middle is the happy ground we should we trying to achieve.
"You look good for your age." ~ What does that mean? Is it a complement or not? I know in my head that people mean well when they say it, but my heart still longs to be the cute, hot chick in her 30s. I was in line at Starbucks the other day and the man behind me struck up a conversation. Let's just say, I am pretty sure he was around when Hoover was president! He was actually flirting with me! I went home and told my husband, "As long as they are old enough, I am still eye candy!"
I have decided to start hanging around the outside of rest homes. I think it will do wonders for my self esteem!

Opportunity

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

Have you ever noticed that many people in life are waiting? Waiting for the right job, waiting for their true love, waiting for things to get better, waiting, waiting and waiting. It seems to me that a lot of time is wasted in this waiting. I would rather forge ahead and see what happens. In moving ahead, even into the unknown, it seems there is more opportunity for something to happen. Yes, there can be false starts, even failures, but even in failure we can grow and learn. I prefer that painful growth to just waiting. I am not a patient person who likes to wait. My husband says I "pull the trigger" too quickly in many things. He may be right, but there is little chance that I am going to change. Truth be told, I really don't want to change this about me. My mind is always thinking ahead and visualizing the next opportunity. There may be obstacles in the way, but, still, the opportunity calls to me and I want to go with it. Even if I have to build the door first to get there.

The Same Seven

I am a member of a rare, dying breed. I still cook dinner five or six nights a week. In today's fast paced, premade society, that is truly rare. Actually, the cooking part is not so bad. I enjoy making the food and I enjoy, even more, watching people eat what I have prepared. It makes me feel happy.
The not great part is planning the menu and the shopping for it. I am stumped for new ideas - well, ones the family will want to eat, that is. I cook the "same seven" things over and over! Are you a victim of "Same Seven Disease" like me?? Tacos, pasta, burgers, etc., again and again and again. Years ago, when my kids were in grade school, I realized I had fallen victim to this affliction so I decided to do something about it. I had a "Same Seven Party". I invited a dozen girlfriends over and they had to bring one of their "same seven" dishes. The rules were, it could not be gourmet or fancy, it had to really be one of their tried and true, constant family dinners. The dining room table was filled with the tasty casseroles and dinners. We all ate and exchanged recipes with one another. I even added a few new recipes into my "same seven" rotation. Everyone declared it a wonderful idea and a success.
Now, 30 years later, I am cooking things to please everyone including my grandchildren. I mean, kids should not eat dinosaur nuggets all the time, right? I have adjusted the recipes to avoid any nuts (Abbey's allergic), I have replaced ground turkey for beef (healthier) and I have started calling the little slider hamburgers I make, "crabby patties". If you are hip like me, you know that crabby patties are what Sponge Bob serves at the diner on the cartoon! Somehow, naming them this guarantees that the kids will all eat 2 or 3!
Once again, it's Saturday morning and I find myself sitting at the dining room table trying to prepare this week's market list. What shall I cook? Got any ideas?

LOL and More

It appears our society is getting abbreviated these days. With the advent of emails and texting, we seem to be shortening everything. I have a hard time keeping up with all of this and often have to ask my daughter what the letters mean that someone has sent me.
One of the first was LOL. My son-in-law tells a funny story of his former boss (in my age group) that thanked his assistant in front of everyone for ending every email to him with "Lots of Love"!! The room fell silent and then everyone burst out laughing when they had to explain to him that she was writing Laughing Out Loud!! He had no idea!
ROTFLMAO - a friend sent that to me in an email a while back and I had no idea what it meant. Amber had to enlighten me that it was "Rolling on the floor, laughing my a** off!" Seriously, who thinks these things up and when do they become so mainstream that everybody knows what they mean??
In "the old days" we wrote SWAT on the outside of an envelope before we mailed it. Yes, yes, I said envelope and mail!!! I mean with real paper and a real stamp! Anyways, the SWAT stood for Sealed with a Kiss. You haven't seen that one in a while, have you?
I am a wordy person, rarely saying something quickly. I tend to go on and on. These abbreviations are not the way my head thinks. The one that really annoys me is when I get a text that is just "K". Come on!! You can't even write OK?!?!! Are we that busy or lazy or what?
I was watching a TV show last week when one of the characters said MFEO....Made For Each Other. That was the 1st time I had ever heard that one. It has stuck in my head ever since.
I am trying to embrace all the new technology, but sometimes it is difficult. If you send me a message and it takes me a while to figure out what you mean, please be patient with me. K?

The Day...Your Way

As the saying goes, the only thing constant is change. Most people fear and avoid change, but I tend to embrace it.
It is with great pleasure and excitement that I announce my new business venture, "The Day...Your Way". This is a "Day of" Coordinator to help you with your special day. I think with the internet and ability to find information so easily today, most people like to plan their own events, be it a party, birthday, wedding, etc. The trick is to be able to enjoy your actual day. That is where I come in and help. I become your eyes and ears the day of your event so you can turn off your cell phone and be a guest at your own party. I will coordinate the set up, food, entertainment and clean up. I will keep things on your time schedule and make sure your guests walk away saying, "Wow, that was really a great party!"
I also want to help people with bereavement receptions. I think a loss of a loved one is such a stressful time, it would really help to have someone for a few hours to coordinate the food, flowers and guests. Unless you are tied to a church that has a bereavement committee, you are usually on your own in trying to get through a very difficult day. Coordinating the reception is the last thing you want on your mind. Again, this is where I can help.
You can email me at thedayyourway@cox.net to get additional information and pricing. If you don't have a need for this service right now, please keep it in mind for the future. I also am happy to pay for referrals. You can become a fan on Facebook and help spread the word as well.

"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other." ~Ann Landers

Once upon a time...

There was a nice boy and he met a cute girl. They were very young, in high school, in fact. They fell in love, got married, had two kids and a pretty good life. That is not to say it didn't have its challenges, because, as we all know, life is messy.
The boy was really good at showing the girl it was more good than bad. He made her laugh. It was a good thing because sometimes when life gets to you, the only thing you can do is laugh.
Little did they know or realize, life could be even better. Their world changed when they became grandparents. The laughter got louder, the world got happier, and the boy and girl felt pretty darn lucky to have three little souls who loved them so much. Love expanded their hearts in ways they never knew were possible. They thought they were showing these children how to love, but, in reality, the children were showing them how to love.
And they all lived happily ever after.

Happy Love Day 2010

Mark & Susan Svoboda aka the boy & the girl

Books

I love to read and my house is being overrun by books. They are everywhere! I have my Barnes & Noble membership card and I buy books every month. I always order at least $25 so I get the free shipping. I watch for coupons online and always try to save a little (retailmenot.com & couponcabin.com are great sites for ALL types of discounts codes!) Still, I spend a lot of money on books. I can't even explain the pure joy that reading a good book gives me. I have read books that kept me so enthralled, I forgot to make dinner. I have read books that made me so sad when they were over and there was no more to discover about the characters I nearly cried. I have read books that challenged things I thought I believed and forced me to look at another point of view. Yes, these are powerful things, these books!
I read an article last night about saving money this year ( a recurring theme for 2010 and these challenging times we live in) and it suggested that you go to the library instead of buying a book. I wonder why this doesn't appeal to me more. After all, I do like to save money where I can. We have a beautiful new library in Tustin and I have yet to go inside. Somehow that box left on the front porch by UPS with the Barnes & Noble return address on it, gives me such a thrill. I don't want to borrow these books, I want to own them. I want them to be in many rooms of my house. They are like friends. Who wants to "borrow" a friend? You find a person, learn things about them, claim them as your friend. Who wants to give them back?!?! I guess I will just continue to have to find spots to stack them and keep them. Sometimes I pull them out and reread them. Sometimes I lend them to people I think will enjoy them. After all, friends are for sharing.

"I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book."

My Three Beauties

I was lucky enough to become a grandmother at a fairly young age, 50. These perfect and beautiful creatures are Maddy (5), Jack (3) & Abbey (2). They have brought a layer of joy to my life that I really don't think you find unless you get to be a grandparent. We love our spouses. We love our children, but, oh my, we LOVE our grandchildren! Children are the rainbow, but grandchildren are the pot of gold!
We have the good fortune to live close by and see them nearly every day. The kids don't know it any other way. They get upset if a day or two goes by and they haven't seen us. "Where's Pa? Where's Grammie", they ask. We are an integral part of their daily lives as they are ours. I think it is especially wonderful because my husband and I are both in good health and can keep up with them. We run and swing and play with them. We are not afraid to be silly with them and we laugh a lot. I know this will change as time goes on. Sooner than we think, their world will expand and friends and activities will take them away from us; not permanently, but more and more often. It is supposed to happen like this, I know, but the thought still makes me ache a little. Eventually, I will become their sweet, old, uncool grammie. Their mother will probably have to force them to call me on the phone and say hello. Sniff!
Well, I intend to be the cool grammie as long as I can. I will love them when their parents don't. I will stand by them when they think nobody else in the world will. I will believe they are the best and the brightest shining stars in the darkest sky. I will remind them that they are beautiful and special until my dying breath.

"My grandmother is over 80 and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle."
Now that's a cool grammie!

Thoughts on Love

"Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?"
~Rodgers & Hammerstein - Cinderella

With it being February and Valentine's Day around the corner, I thought I'd do some thinking about love. I really like this quote because it speaks to the fact that we all fall in love with someone for various reasons and often those reasons can only be seen by us. Case in point, have you ever had a girlfriend go on and on about how gorgeous this guy is and how wonderful his personality is, etc, etc. and then you meet him and think, WHAT?!?! This guy is nothing like she described to me! Maybe this is where we got the saying, "Love is blind." With some people's choices, you think love is not only blind, it might just be deaf, dumb & blind!!
I read something that said, "Love me when I am the most unlovable because that is when I need it the most." I think this is the mark of true love. We humans can be pretty beastly at times. Those people that stick by us when we are beasts truly love us. They take the good with the bad and some how come back for more. We thank them by loving them back - even when they are the beast!